Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Blisters of Love

I just want to scream.

I received a call at early morning from a friend, saying that she is now in UTP. She came over to UTP representing the UTM-SPE for some sort of talks and stuffs. She is the secretary of the highly respected community in oil and gas industry, and i respect her for that as well. And so she informed me whether I am free at any time today since that she was here and maybe a casual outing would do if I can clear my schedule for the day in any way. Im free of course, but there is something about her that actually creates a barrier between this table for two.

She was my ex.

And so I planned to bring her out for dinner, and since that i dont really wanna get too awkward, i invited two of my friends. Dina and Aesha quickly agreed and we straight away planned for the night events. Unconditionally nervous, i tried to calm down and prepared to act profesionally. Since both of us are leaders and we used to be exposed to proper communication manners, I dont think Tasha will get awkward as well.

8.30 pm. I walked down the stairs in calm and headed to my beloved baby. She was there, right at the place i left her before the heavy rain this evening. As i rotated the key to ignition, Dina came from my side and greeted this old man as usual. Her dress was simple but stylish. Dina has this kind of style where she can exist as a vogue as possible, and her smiles and laughs always cheer me up whenever that bloody black cloud hovers over me on my bad hair day.

"Are we ready, Jack?" Yeah. Let's go then. I inhaled some big volume of air and gave out a big sigh before reversing the car to fetch Aesha in V3 cafe porch.

Aesha came in white long sleeve t-shirt and black pants. 3 up, one more to go. And this last one lady will give me hell of a big anxiety over my ownself. I looked at Dina before i gave Tasha a call to tell her that we're ready to pick her up. Dina smiled in sympathy and nodded her head. It's gonna be it.

"We'll be there in a minute, Tasha."

Miss Tasha, still as gorgeos like the last time i saw her. As tall as a model, she can attract any guy who crosses her path. She is even successful now, and that's what making me proud of her still. Just a simple brown shirt and jeans, she gailed her jacket around her shoulder while fixing her lovely long hair with her firm long fingers. She lost some weight though, and she looked even hotter now. More confident, and more lovely.

God, i really miss this lady.

As she entered the car, her perfume reminded me of the good old days. She still wore the same perfume, and the smell broke my man heart deep inside.

In the car, three of the girls talked and talked and talked while I listened to the radio and shut the hell up. Many things came into my mind. All the fucking memories and all the bloody phenomenal incidents that happened that finally brought us up to a point of no return. Too many memories. Too many sadness and sorrows. As the aircond blew, her perfume killed me slowly inside.

We went to Moven Peak for dinner, and the girls have hell of a nite. Tasha and Dina and Aesha...they seemed to get along together. Which is good though. We had hell long of a chat and laughs. Especially Dina who extremely bossing us out by showing off her skill with chopsticks and cili jeruk. All along, my eyes were on Tasha, and i knew the other two (not Tasha of course) realized that. Well, not that im a stalker, just that i missed my girl too much.

(She was once yours, Jack. She's not anymore now. Get over it.)

Coffee Bean was our next stop, and again we blew the place up with laughters and cheers. i started to get along with the girls and you know, get in the mood slowly. And i started to feel the warmth of Tasha, silently invitating to her intimate space. At a glance, i just knew that somehow the feelings were still there.

But none of us spoke anything about it. Some things are better left unspoken.

Ipoh to UTP seems to be so long, but still i wish it to be longer. I never bring Tasha for dinner before, and i felt guilty for not doing those sweet and nice stuffs that i supposed to do when i with her before. None of us four did really talk, and the journey came out to be the most silent ever. But from the reflection from the street lights, i could see Tasha smiled. The smile which i missed all these times. And i was somehow happy to see it.

She was happy.

Time to say goodbye though. I dropped Tasha at Ruby, and the three girls hugged each other saying goodbyes and take care and all. I leaned over by my car and watched them over. Some sort of feelings catched me and i started to rumble inside. The impersonating enigma of love that was never there striked me. I was thundered with a lot of things, and it all ended when i shaked her hand for the last time. Tomorrow, she will never be there anymore. And fuck Im gonna miss her a lot.

I took a glance at her while she walked back to her room. And we're off to where i belong, each and every of us.

I dropped Aesha off at V3, and i parked by the road at V5 before walking Dina back to her lair. All the way she said that Tasha was one babe that was worth befriend with. I have to admit it though, since Tasha is still my bst girlfriend ever up to this day. None of the others can match her beauty, internally and externally.

"But some things are just not meant to be, Jack," Dina said in small voice but i knew she meant it.

I walked back to my block using the pavement walkway by the road. I took a look at the stars and i remember this song of Disagree. With a crying heart i sang it out loud:

And if she doesnt go your way

Look up to blue skies and say hey

It's okay. It's okay.

Good night Tasha.

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