Thursday, May 11, 2006

A Lady In My Life

Ah..seems that someone is appreciating my writings these days. I shall thanx Miss Azhani Rahim for reading my unstoppable thoughts and views about life, as seen in the eyes of a little sparrow, which i consider myself as one.

So, what is it with my writings? Why do I enjoy writing hell of multiple pages of papers?

Just for the fun of it? Maybe.

I do enjoy writing so much. I write and i write and i write. But i do not write blindly, i must know what i am writing in the first place before actually putting the tip of the pen onto those blank sheets and create the harmony. Well, onto the keypad, quite literally.

I can always say that some people do enjoy my writings, and some can get really2 offended with them too. Some says my words sweets up the bitter of their sorrows, while some says I am even meaner than every beast in this world. Blunt spears strike through their hearts, subjected only from the tip of a pen. Or maybe a rose to someone who likes flowers, significantly.

And here goes Min, or Milia Yasmin. Maybe some of you have already heard of her, but some may have not. Milia Yasmin is a character in my current novel, Min. You guys can take a look from my other blog, which is Friendster's.

I wanted to talk about this pretty young girl, Syarifah Milia Yasmin Syed Mustaffa since long ago. When the first episode actually came up, many came to me and ask: So who is this Milia Yasmin? Another sceptical love episode of your life? A woman you admire?

But i can never answer those questions. Some took it wrong that I'm just being greedy, without even knowing that some things are better left unsaid.

They said I gave life to Milia Yasmin. The character was so alive that, everyone believes that she was once alive. They treat Min like a real human. Well, wasn't she? Or is it that she is only my psycho-somatic imagination? I cannot answer that, i told them, and they swept away.

Milia Yasmin had changed me a lot. She was the one who said it was okay to breath again. She told me to be strong against the incoming stream. She told me to be brave to stand up again. She told me that it is okay to live here in His world. She said no matter what people say about me, just let them be and i've gotta move on.

She said it was okay for me to smile again.

"Smile at the stars, and they will always smile back at you." And then she left me alone, forever.

Milia Yasmin had left me with a lot of doubts. A lot of questions, none of them has ever been answered till now. She left me fallen on my very own ground. But she left me in harmony, plentiful of peace and love, nourishing my dark life with tears from heaven.

Owh i have gone through a great life. Many says im living a useless life, but I say i have a great life. I have done many things wrong, but i never give up upon those mistakes. I have felt the joy and the tears of life. I have tasted the rosy love and the bitter side of hatred. I have gained and lost mny friends, they come and go. I have been killed over and over, for why only God knows. But I am proud of my life. Regardless of what people say about me, I am still standing here on my very ground, putting my strength against the current of devastating life.

And so, when everytime life shows its fangs to me, i will just sit down and think again about it. Di mana silapnya? Where is the mistake? And i will always find one. And when I was pushed down into the ground without mercy, i can always find the strength to push back by just sitting down and think about everything. And when i do feel lonely, i will always take a look at the sky and smile with a small sigh, and i will feel the proud i have for my own life.

And somehow I know, somewhere out there, she is proud of me too.


"So, who is this Miss Milia Yasmin?"

I'm sorry, but some things are better left unsaid


Hani said... name is there.
mntk royalti!

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

royalty? you wish.