Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Back In Business

A year, or plus maybe, has passed since the last time I updated this blog of mine. Many things had happened and I was totally lost into more updates, precisely including about the existence of this very blog as well.

If it was not Fithri, I might still neglecting this very page of mine.

Let's do a quick review and see how it goes.

Nothing really goes on more or less in this blog since the last time I took a look at it; things were still in place right where I left them the last time. I care not to touch anything except a few things which I presume they might need some touch-ups including a picture of mine which was no longer there when I reloaded this blog few moments ago.

Life so far has been quite promising. There were a lot of opportunities that some might appreciate them as striking as they could ever be. Not to forget other significant losses; sadness and sorrows that came along blanketing the cheers and joys altogether. But fortunately I think I am mature enough to hold any responsibility within my own hand this time, thinking that a man to himself is more than getting my back all supported by other people. Sometimes, no, a lot of times in life you have to learn how to survive alone because there are no promises whatsoever that guarantee the very person next to you is going to last the way you will.

There's no guarantee at all.

I took a look around again at my writings and I feel I may have changed a bit; perception-wise, thinking-wise; and few other -wises that I feel so. It is good to compare yourself now to then to find how much you have changed over the years - the flaws that you still have and the skills that you may have acquired - only to either feel better or worst about yourself. But for me, I rarely have regrets on anything that I have done so far because these experiences - very, very bad experiences - have thought me what to do and what not when it comes into life businesses.

Among other things that may get my pricey little attentions is this monkey business we usually refer to as gossiping.

Gossiping, is one of the thing I do not fancy personally. Some people prefer gossiping to update themselves on certain things, usually about other people, is individually discreet and not to be discussed publicly but is anyway, and the stories - the main ingredient of the gossips - will undergo a number of spice-up processes that in the end will produce a result where the final tales get so mixed up that they become completely ridiculous. But people believe them anyway.

Let's ponder for a while. Picture you go out on a weekly night-out or a date, and all the time you do is gossiping. Could be lame, isn't it? What I don't really understand is, how come people get so interested in story-telling about other people? Would it be better to tell about oneself than about others, or so i thought? How about people's perception towards you when all you tell the whole time are stories - embarassing stories - about other people? Won't people think that, "Hey if this guy gossips about him in front of me, he would as well go and gossip about me to him, no?"

Now here is a theory I came up with about gossiping.

Provided that you love something, you will do your research about that thing deep down until you understand the nature of it, correct? Of course. And let's assume you will do the otherwise when you hate something else.

But don't you, usually, will find out about things that you hate so that you can gossip about them later? And to get into things you might as well find out all the nasty stories about that things you hate, deep down too, as if you love them. You try to dig stories, you try to improve your skills and knowledge about that thing that in the end you put your hatred into a source of knowledge; you become an encyclopedia of your own hatred list(s).

By studying your subjects, you are showing a bit of affections - the need to know; the curiosity; the urge, until at one time you realize that somehow you admire your subjects without you realizing. You have arranged a place for your subjects to stay in your mind, your memories, and you keep telling the tales all around, provoking people to make conclusions that somehow you get attracted and a bit too carried away with what you are hating at the moment, and causing deflections in perceptions that you, yes you, cannot get these things you hate out of your mind even for a while, despite of how much you hate these things and how hard you try to repel them off your mind and how badly you try to tell the stories to other people so that they will - you hope they will - somehow hate them too, but only in the end makes you appear more or less as pathetic as you are now.

When people tell bad things about other people to me, my answer would be, "I can see you did your homework. But is there not any nice story about yourself that might bring me into your attention than these nasty stories about other people of whom I do not really have my interests in?"

Because for me, at least for me, I think some people do not have any achievement in their lives that they start telling about others' failures in order to feel good about themselves. Dull life, yes?


Merissa K. said...

fraid i cant agree. gossips make my world go round. haha. cant help it. being in utp, thats like the cheapest form of entertainment there is.

u call me by all of my names huh? fithri, tasha, merissa. i have a feeling you dont really ingat who i am. n where u met me n stuff. hmmmh.


Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

I DO remember you, babe! Just that when i refer you as Natasha, significantly 4 people will think it was them I did mention. If I refer you as Merissa, 3 people will as well do.

So Fithri is more or less quite specific for the job.