Sunday, December 14, 2008

You Sure You Want To Have This Conversation?

"You sure you want to have this conversation?"

I hate it when people use that against me. It is a provoking, nerving, downgrading and very offending sometimes.

It is the kind of sentence we use to issue a warning about a brewing storm ahead. The kind of sentence to limit one's ability to speak freely. I do understand that some things are bounded into certain limits that when one passes, things will get fascinatingly awful, sarcastically speaking.

It sounds bossy. Especially from a woman. And youngsters relative to my age.

I may be one of those people with what you call male chauvinism. Probably, and I am pretty sure many of other men have those running in their blood. We are designated to think that way, because it was planned inside our blueprint. What matters is how strong the chauvinism is. As for me, I might be strong with it but not beyond the extreme line.

I am the alpha dog type even when I am not one. That one particular charm may harm myself, especially when dealing with other alpha dogs. Feelings will hurt a little, a pattern of disliking will display and when it comes to memory, well it depends. Some may forget but some may remember it for quite some time to fade away.

When people use that sentence against me, oh how I would love to counter back with even more venomous lines of carefully arranged words, not to directly emphasize on the attack but more into poking into the right spot just enough to leave a complete trail of unforgiven misery. But usually I did not counter back because the people who used it against me were and still the people whom I care dearly in my heart just enough not to poke a verbal stick into them.

So I just sit down and sulk on it the whole day. To champagne my loss to stand for myself.

"You lost because of your ego, and that same ego can't take it."

Probably too. Well it is just another day where my ego is driven mad, stepped onto, spitted onto and laughed at. No big deal really.

Maybe I should talk to the people who use the sentence against me. But then again, are you sure you want to have this conversation?

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