Followers

Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Okay, Now Look Here.

Okay. Now here's the situation:

1. When I was told that you will be right back in the middle of a chat conversation, my expectation was that you will reappear in a few minutes time, not after a whole week.

2. When I ask for an opinion, I do hope you that do not need to give me the attitude. Now curse you for giving me attitudes, and do not ask anything from me anymore. At least not for free.

3. When I ask for a duty report now, I strictly mean now. Not a hundred and fifteen hours after I asked for it. If i want the report a hundred and fifteen hours from the time I mention about it, I would have mentioned it clearly, even utter the words next to your ear and stick a post-it note on your forehead for better reminder.

4. When you have problems with your lady, that does not concern me at all, unless if you ask for opinions which I will gladly give for free. But don't let your anger for your lady out to me because seriously you will piss me off. And you are not going to like me being pissed off. I will either kill you for the best of your lady, or kill your lady for the best of you, or kill you both for the best of me. I prefer the latter.

5. When I say don't touch anything in my lab, I want you to stay at least fifteen miles away from those things, with sentry garrison at every thirty feet from your stand, guarded by heavy cavalry army on world's best war horses with dual barrel 88mm cannon pointing at you and dead hungry German Shepherds and Rottweilers aiming at your legs, should they move for even an inch. I'll even hire Rambo to keep an eye on you.

6. When I ask you to move the instruments, I mean move them off the table, not an inch to any horizontal direction, even though it is technically correct. Comprende?

7. When I say something, listen. They have pretty much of good reasons why they give me the coat to me to take care of the instruments, not you.


* * *


"Dude I think I just blew somethin' up, man."


All in a day's work. Sigh.


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