Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Stressful Agape

I just got back from the National Postgraduate Conference held in UTP from today until tomorrow.

Presenting one of my finest papers in front of highly educated strangers with strong sense and suspicions, I was quite nervous. But everything turned out to be alright, and I am very glad with it.

At least one of the main cause of stress is eliminated.

Talking about stress, many came and asked me, "how do you coop with it?" My answer was simple - I did not.

For me, I always appreciated myself being in stressful conditions. This may sound absurd to many, but believe it or not, we become extensively mobile when we are under the stress regime. We become more alert, our minds work aggressively and we become solution tanks. Oftenly associated with problems, having stress improves your brains from a usually-static state into highly dynamic.

Simply, it is a type of strong motivation.

If I am too happy and too carefree, I will become a potato couch - relaxing the whole day without doing anything. The food is there ready for immediate consumption, money is available in vast amount in my pocket, the limousines and the chopper waiting outside - what is there to be stressed about? And eventually I will lose my guard and I start not to appreciate things around me. I will have the lack of life skills, and I slowly becoming a moron because I do not think for myself anymore but others do it for me.

By being in stressful condition, it opens my eyes. I start to see what I have been missing. I start to appreciate what I have. I start to think of ways for improvements. I start digging a tunnel out from the deep dark hole I fell into, in which in the end I get to see the sky again.

Because for me, what matters is the ladder going up, not the falling off part. We tend to remember how we were over the years - climbing up the stairs one by one, and we feel proud of it. That is always the sweetest moment, no?

* * *

A friend, via the Yahoo messenger, told me that I am an Agape type of lover. And so I surf around to find the meaning of the newly-heard word, Agape, and I found this:

Agape is selfless, unconditional love. The features of this form of love: it is patient and kind; it does not envy, nor boast; it keeps no record of wrong doing; it hopes, protects, trusts, and is not self seeking.

If there is a dark side to agape, it is in those who claim to act out of love and compassion, but whose love comes at a price. "Do-gooders" and "martyrs" - people who expect dependence and devotion in return for their selfless love are exhibiting the dark side of agape.

Agape is also a blend of two other types of love, eros and storge. This is the love of altruism, of giving without asking anything in return, and of sacrificing oneself for one's partner. Many would consider it to be the purest form of love.

Wicked. All I knew was I am always a terrible lover.

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