Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Day When I Finally Feel Like...

...I wanna kick a male goat in the nuts.

It's a beautiful Sunday morning. Just without the usual sunshine.

Yeah. Nice start, day. Keep it going that way.

Awaken by the sounds of heavy rain outside, I sat down on my ass on the bed looking around the room trying to get every reason why I should bother to even wake up and move away from the bed.

Well there's a new spiderweb at the end corner of the ceiling that needs to be removed. Damn spiders, they just need to build in the open.

There's a portrait of Dr. Gregory House with 'Everybody Lies' written underneath it that needs a replacement. It had been already a year since I put it up on the wall.

And there's the electric guitar that needed a quick cleaning, leaning against the wardrobe lifelessly. Man she's sure a beauty, but I was not into her just yet. So I just left it there and proceeded to exploring the room for more.

Empty cups, three of them, all with coffee stains sitting in a row on my study. Then there's the electric kettle, coffee packs, sugar and some junk foods. It's a good time to have coffee now, but I was just too lazy to make one.

God, is there not a thing, anything at all, to make me out of the bed, really?

And there were Hifi, a short for Hiro and Fifi, the pair dwarf hamsters I kept as pets. And they're still sleeping, probably due to the cold air and pleasingly rain. They rolled themselves into somewhat fur balls, crashing into one another.

Guess I just did not want to wake up.

* * *

Today is supposed to be a happy day. Perak is having this three-days break in a row until Monday, and I planned to go to some places for a quick vacation. I need it anyway, desperately. Research did not go so well these days - too many stoppings already. Well that's the cost of research: an amount of scientifically-derived heartbreaks, meaningless frustrations, endless dead ends and sometimes a total madness.

But due to some certain unfortunate events that rose like unwanted, despicable fungus after the rain, the plan was cancelled in just split seconds. Sure, I am mad and all, but I just find it totally unfair that I was forced to cancel the plan over somewhat emotionally-driven splinters that turned out not as splinters at all but tumors; gigantic mass of tumors that grow at almost equal to the velocity rate of wind leaving the anal sphincter during events of delightful, voluntarily-done farting. As easy as that, the plan is canceled.

I just can't fucking believe it.

But who am I to despise the wantings of God? All I could do is to sit down here all day in front of the monitor reading 'Engineer's Guide to Managing Time', ironically, to kill the lots of time I have in abundance this very now.

Why, at every other time, at all the available time this world has to offer, that this life drama has to get on stage now? Why my plan has to be jejopardized because of this waayyyyyy too over emotional drama? Why? Why do I have to live in this whole crappy Hollywood? Why when I want to have some peaceful time, something will just have to pop up and crush it like a curious boy take to a helpless cockroach? Why?

Could somebody just tell me why?

Tell you why? Ghee I don't know, man. This question...well...err...can't we just proceed to the part where we're gonna kick those terrorists in the nuts now?

God, with all this dammed anger (refer to the post titled 'The Anger') inside of me, with the dam almost giving up; - the flow channels totally stuck, overflowing cases all over, cracks on the dam's wall, early signs of pressure-driven failures - all that I ask for is just a goat, so that I can, for my own amusement, kick it in the nut.


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