Friday, April 24, 2009

Man and Woman: Understanding The Theory (as if there was ever one)

These days there were some people around me had themselves touched the very subjective field of love, on the way of understanding and conquering.

For example, Mr Silverleaf here asked me on making Love potion No. 9 while Mr Asyraf there wrote some close-to-poetic opinions on love usual phenomenons.

And I could not help but to write something on this issue, perhaps to give some joys to these disturbed souls.

The Theory of Relativity, of course, would not explain girls at all. It does not even explain men as well in the first place, since the theory describes only about time and space where light is the matter being discussed. But of course, I understood that what Asyraff was trying to say, that to him girls are unexplainable.

"What?! Women? Light is easier to be theorized out hahhahahaha goddamn my wife is gonna kill me but what the hell ahaahahhahaha"

Well of course. We agree on the fact that women tend to be so unpredictable that we men oftenly become confused because we fail to see the patterns of behavior we usually see in other men. And of course we, most of the time, will miss the hints women try hard to show to us.

"Choose your words carefully, or somebody might lose some balls tonight."

Picture a scene where a man and a woman in a relationship are having this chat during dinner:

* * *

Man: So how's your day, love?

Woman: Not well. There was this lady who was picking on me because my bag is pricier than her, which was so unnecessary of her, and there's this my friend whom her jerk boyfriend dumped her because he thinks she was being all lame and all, and then there's this one guy...(proceeding to endless yada yada)

Man: (Chomping on his food, thinking, "Why can't she just say her day was all but good?")

Woman: Were you listening?

Man: Well of course I was, and still am.

Woman: Do you have anything to do tonight?

Man: Yeah. There's this client who needed me to design some stuffs for him. I need to look at that later when we get home.

Woman: Hm. (Thinking, "Always work but never me. I had a bad day, why couldn't he be with me for a while? I need a hug. And a teddy bear. No. An icecream! But it would be bad on my stomach. A good warm bath would be fun. But he wouldn't be there with me. Why can't he just be there with me? Why? Why do I need to go through all these? Do I deserve all these?")

Man: (Noticing that there's some unfavorable face gestures in his spouse's) Why, is there something wrong?

Woman: Nope. (Supercold woman, now she is)

Man: Then why the face? (Starts to hit the panic button)

Woman: Nothing.

* * *

Here's where the man stops eating and stare at the lady, while the lady ignoring him totally and proceeds to her food instead.

And this is when the communication fails; the man will think that the lady was trying to ridicule him (because he mistook her gestures for something else) and the lady will think that the guy is just an idiot (because he cannot even understand what she wants).

So my point is, in order to understand a lady, communicate with her. Talk to her. Picture her as a mining spot - in order to harvest the information from her, you need to dig deep inside her (not THAT type of digging, you perverted morons!).

There's a reason WHY this book shows a freaked-out guy on its cover.

A woman for me is always so mysterious, individually and uniquely. It is hard enough to pattern out the behavior of women generally, so don't even think about to classify one down into detail - it would be even more disastrous. But we men just need to do it in order to keep the lady happy and the relationship healthy (read: to have some peace in our war-zone manly hearts). And we just need them women eventually, for, you know, stuffs.

*cough* I didn't mean that, seriously. I love you honey, seriously. Seriously I'm serious. :D

So listen up boys, we just need to learn the trick to get into a woman's heart (and stick in there). Because if you don't have the skills, life's gonna be a bitch for you, mates. Unless of course you're this guy who get women like lungs take to air:

"Fuck you all I'm filthy rich."

And sorry Silvy, no potion no. 9. My only formula is to go down into a lot of deep shitholes in the quest of understanding women, and eventually you will be polished out in the way out from the shitholes, only to realize that you are already becoming a master of women at heart soon enough before you knowing. But here's some hint: women only want to hear things that are pleasing in their ears, so improve your wordings, and come out with some talents.

Good luck.


Silverleaf said... potion then...hehe...well women are complicated but that's what make them desirable...huhu a mystery even time can't solve...

nadirahzz said...

dear tired...the guys!jerk!...

LuTaNiA said...

'And we just need them women eventually, for, you know, stuffs.'
Whatt the.......

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

exactly, you see what i mean, mate. only visible from the very blessed eyes.

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

nadirah: not entirely they all are, fairuz. you should know that.

not all females are angels, aren't they?

lutania: yeah. stuffs. as companions, friends, spouses, mothers, wives etc. what were you thinking?