Friday, June 26, 2009

"Tell me, how long more?"

Dear members of the family, fans, friends and foes;

Due to certain unfortunate events, I decided to rest myself for a while from the blogging world.

Life has never been so difficult. With deteriorating health and physically tired, what choice do I have.

Please forgive me for all the 'full of sadness and sorrow' type of blogposts from the past weeks. I just happened to be too upset. I have never been so unhappy.

I do not have anyone whom I can totally pour myself out. And from this, I die a little inside each day.

To all readers, thank you very much for your time visiting this blog every now and then. Should you need to contact me, you know where to find me. Through my email, to the very least.

I will write back as soon as I am done with myself - with this typhoon inside of me that never seem to stop developing. All I can think of is a place, the only place where my heart is calm at all time. A place far away from here, and never here. A place where there is love and peace, that loves me best and keeps me warm, protected.

I need to find love of my own.

"All I ever wanted was to love you wholly and completely without any prejudice, without any need for the favor to be returned, with no need to be treated like a king nor a superstar."

Till then, and do take care, all of you.

Best Regards,

Mohamad Nazmi

Thursday, June 25, 2009

"Mesti awak penat kan nak jaga saya?"


"Tapi saya tak pernah penat cium awak."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

As the semester reaches the end, there will be times when the postgraduate students need to sit down among themselves in a group to individually present their works to the superior evaluators. We call these sessions as the Postgraduate Symposium. For every session it will take an hour for each student, and there will always be two lecturers to evaluate us.

As for me, my session is tomorrow. Like the image above depicts, the session will be from 9am to 12pm.

There are only two things I am concerned about the symposium:

1. There are two other students pursuing PhD, and both happen to be my friends. So no problem with communications. But I am the only one with M.Sc. in the group.
Picture this for example: a standard-three student to present with two other students who already are in standard-five.

Therefore my presentation is expected to par with the others to show a bit of competition when it comes to catching up with the presentation standard.

2. Two Associate Professors (AP) are to be our evaluators. And both are known to be very technical in their fields - Dr Rashid in Automotive and Dr Hussain in Fluid Mechanics.

I need to be very, very careful in terming. Wrong terms might lead to wrong understanding hence the wrong conclusions. And then it leads to more scary things to come. Remember; flame and fire are two different things in engineering world.

Well, wish me luck, people :D

I said, "Maybe,
You're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all,
You're my wonderwall."

FTW. Lulz

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Dan kukhabarkan pada angin - bahawa hati ini sedang gering dalam pengabaian.
Apa diharap padi seberang
Entahkan jadi entahkan tidak
Apa diharap kasihnya orang
Entahkan sudi entahkan tidak
p/s: sudahkah kamu semua menelefon kekasih hati kamu hari ini? Jangan sekali membiarkan sang kekasih menderita keseorangan sedangkan kamu sedang bersukaria. Jangan.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Please do..please fucking do.

Never ever loneliness and neglectfulness ever bit me this far.

My mom called today.

Apparently one of a cousin came by at home for the usual social chit-chat. A year older than me, he is now working with one of the company that runs the country's largest passenger network service as a fresh accountant.

So he updated my parents about his current doings and whatnot, including his plans for future advancement as an accountant, as my mom told. Nothing really impressed me until she asked me this very question:

"Is it true that accounting is much more difficult to study than engineering?"

She sounded upset when she uttered that question, to which I replied, "why did you ask?"

"Because he (the cousin) said that your course is much more easier to complete than his. He said engineering is easy."

At that very point, my calmness turned into this:

He said what?

What the bloody hell is this nonsense?! "Ridiculous!" i said to her.

Based on what specifications or tests, sir, that made you think you are anymore superior than me? There is no possible way to actually compare two different fields, although they both link to science, to tell which one is more difficult to study than the other. Instead of putting such an arrogant statement, might as well you burn the entire house down in the way of making me be a little more shameful as you may thought I might be but I am not, behind my back.

I rather put that our fields are not identical in many ways, therefore diplomatically I could put that instead of boasting about anybody's field, we could just respect each other and stop there immediately. How do you tell that my course is easier? Have you taken any engineering course to add to your list of confirmed findings?

But you sir, yes you, have made such irrelevant statement to my parents, especially my mom who has no apparent knowledge in engineering, when I was not around. Did you ever encounter the feelings one may feel when others ridicule their children when they are not around? My God, only if I was there to shower you with ridiculous mathematical questions like explosive diarrhea just enough to shut you up, I swear I will do my very, very best.

"By the way he invites you to his wedding," my mom continued after listening to my series of lecture.

"Ahhh," I replied in such calmed, relieved voice. Since I know my mom wouldn't be seeing me through the phone, I am pretty sure she knew that I was grinning from one ear to another.

It's hammer time.

FTW. Lulz.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

'Tired',, 2007

What are the odds, of something big, coming my way today as we still have more or less 4 more hours to go till it ends?

Quite on the downer hands, my life has been specifically deteriorating from last week onwards, much to blame on the blasphemous sphere of being too bored (and too away) from anything else.

8-to-5 work hour is easier when there are better things to do at night. But since it is holiday, I couldn't help but to 'just shut the hell up and stop complaining', as the average angry woman will say to sissy men. But I am no sissy, oh never.

I started to lose focus. Some said that I am disturbed by certain things in mind that I may have left unattended, specifically personal issues or agendas that even by thinking of it will make Superman crashes into planets, if he does that while flying. Well, I don't know where to begin. Too many things in mind right now that sometimes they get mixed up pretty much easily, hence adding up more and more turbulence to my uncompromisable state of confusion.

There are many interesting things to do despite the fact that they are better be done in groups. But that's the thing: I lose interest as quickly as fart loses its intensity in open air. Also, I am pretty much tired these days, easily. In a way or another, I am missing someone too. Tried to call, but my pride won't let me dial.

Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat
Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat

Ku saat itu takut mencari makna

Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada

Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kutrima apa adanya

Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam

Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

'Ruang Rindu', Letto; Truth, Cry and Lie, 2005

Well maybe I am just disturbed. Maybe.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Would somebody please stay with me tonight?

It's just..

I feel so cold.


Lelaki ragut polis ditahan di Puchong

KUALA LUMPUR 16 Jun - Seorang lelaki yang dipercayai meragut beg milik seorang anggota polis pada Ahad lalu berjaya diberkas berdekatan Pasar Besar Giant Puchong dekat sini semalam.

Hasil penahanan lelaki berusia lingkungan 20-an itu juga, polis yakin turut menyelesaikan tiga kes samun dan satu kes curi motosikal di sekitar Puchong yang dipercayai dilakukan suspek.

Ketua Polis Daerah Subang Jaya, Asisten Komisioner Zainal Rashid Abu Bakar berkata, pihaknya menahan suspek setelah dia dilihat dalam keadaan mencurigakan berhampiran kawasan pasar besar itu.

Hasil pemeriksaan pihak polis terhadap suspek yang ditahan kira-kira pukul 7 petang, katanya, polis menemui sekeping kad kuasa polis di dalam dompet suspek yang dilaporkan hilang dalam kes ragut di Pasar Raya Tesco Ahad lalu.

"Mangsa, seorang anggota polis diragut semasa dalam perjalanan pulang ke rumahnya. Motosikal yang ditunggangnya ditendang oleh suspek sehingga jatuh sebelum beg mangsa dilarikan.

"Selain itu, suspek dipercayai terlibat dalam tiga lagi kes samun dan satu kes curi motosikal di sekitar kawasan ini (Puchong).

"Suspek kini ditahan untuk soal siasat. Polis kini sedang mengesan beberapa lagi rakannya yang terlibat dengan jenayah ini," katanya pada sidang akhbar di Balai Polis Puchong Jaya dekat sini, hari ini.

Utusan Online

* * *

Siap la kau. Memang takkan tidur la kau selagi kau duduk dalam lokap polis tu. Memang jadi lauk polis la. Yang kau pun bodoh pegi terajang motor polis buat apa.

Tengok gambar bawah ni. Ni lagi satu kerja bodoh. Dia ingat tulang rusuk dia kuat benor agaknye. Kena sepak dek polis tu berterabur bersepah karang atas jalan.

"Heheh. Sayorrrr"

'Cause something might just pops out of nowhere without you seeing it coming.

Monday, June 15, 2009

So I went to a nearby travel agency office to book my tickets to and return from Kota Kinabalu.

There were three ladies at the ticketing counter, so I chose the most attractive ones and sat in front of her to extend my business. I told her that I needed three tickets - one to Kota Kinabalu and two from Kota Kinabalu.

For the two latter tickets from Kota Kinabalu, I chose to take AirAsia, totaling MYR550 overall. So no problem on that.

For the one going to Kota Kinabalu, I chose to take MAS instead. Well, it's not always everyday of every weekend for me to travel in a aeroplane, so what the heck. I deserve some pamper for myself. So I asked,

"Boleh ke tempah MAS advance flight ticket di sini?"

"Bolehhhhh," she said in a somewhat high-pitch tone. And I believed her.

So the attractive one keyed in the webpage and started to show that I only needed to pay MYR99.00, which obviously she didn't notice the note saying 'from' before the latter words 'MYR 99.00' appeared. I suddenly felt like something amusing is on the way here. So I let her go on, just to see what happens next.

So she went on and on, and after a click to the page where you suppose to choose your time of departure, she was surprised that the ticket price was then MYR202.00. She said sorry and all, but since I already expected this to happen, I said ok and told her to proceed. Which she did, to another kind of amusement.

She didn't know that she needed to register as user in Malaysia Airlines website before she could book any MHFlex ticket.

She didn't know. And she's the one working in a travel agency. Her reason was:

"Awaklah orang pertama yang tempah tiket MAS di ofis kami."

Hahah. I feel like a freaking rockstar.


But to the downside of it, I still have not my MAS ticket. I have the KK-LCCT tickets but not KLIA-KK ticket. And we don't have anymore MAS branch office in Ipoh after Sultan Azlan Shah Airport closed down years back.


Coffee's getting cold but drinking it up I don't
It's bloody cold in here it gets to my bone
Couldn't sleep now and my head is crashing
Thoughts of things go all around dashing

Looking back at times when we were happy
And those moments when it all went crappy
It hits me deep right here in the heart
It's hurting me well like a piece of bad art

Can't seem to understand how could you be so mad
How could you put everything aside all the things we had
Where was your heart when 'twas me you struck
When you yelled at me you said 'What the fuck'.

Gone is everything inside me comes crashing
Beaten up real good by your words of bashing
I couldn't move already all I feel is ache
Couldn't tell how much more of these I could even take

I don't know what I feel it just seem so numb
Maybe a bit too sad maybe a bit too dumb
But don't you need to bother or care or even to stay stuck
Cause probably what I am to you is nothing at all but
Like the way you said, I'm just 'What the fuck'.

-0110 hour-

Sunday, June 14, 2009

  • apa perasan sekarang - sangat puas hati. 3 penerbangan berjaya dilangsungkan tanpa apa-apa kemalangan.

  • saya nak makan - apa-apa sajalah. sudah 3 hari tidak makan proper.

  • saya x suka - orang kacau-kacau saya.

  • impian saya - dapatkan segala yang saya impikan.

  • haiwan yg saya tidak suka - lipas. sialan.

  • saya harapkan - kekecewaan dalam dada yang satu ini akan berkurangan.

  • jika boleh diputarkan masa - aku berikrar akan mencari segala punca.
  • saya pada 10 thn akan datang - perut sudah makin besar, anak-anak baru masuk sekolah, kereta pun sudah tukar, bini senyum melebar, kerja makin berat, gaji makin smart.
  • hp saya adalah - henpon China yang menjadi bahan gelak tawa orang
  • saya pernah bercinta sebanyak - banyak jugalah.
  • saya suka pada - duit
  • kawan2 saya - ada yang mengguna, ada yang tak guna, ada yang terlebih guna
  • pernah dikhianati - haha. banyak juga.
  • apa yang hendak dilakukan terhadap org yg mengkhianati anda - doakan saja yang terbaik, tapi yang ganjilnya Tuhan makbulkan doa saya dengan cara yang terbalik. saya doakan mereka yang terbaik, tapi hidup mereka semakin lintang-pukang.

Finally the 8-hour and 34 minutes Malaysia Airlines Boeing 777-300 flight MH137 from Brisbane to KLIA landed safely at 1645 hour. Phew!

Reaching the Motherland

Maneuvering to line-up with Sepang's runway

A little bit more left at 15 degree angle

Safe, smooth landing

Announcement for those who puked all over the aisle, please request assistance from our sexy kebaya angels. Those who happened to sit next to those who fainted at any time during flight and still, please wake them up or request assistance from our sexy kebaya angels. Those who still are wearing the oxygen masks or life jackets, please wear them off now or request assistance from our sexy kebaya angels. To those who want to complain about my flying, you can get the complain forms inside engine number 2 on our right handside of the aircraft, to get them please request assistance from our sexy kebaya angels.

Thank you again for choosing Malaysia Airlines. MH, Malaysian Hospitality.

Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoLable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't play play ah !

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her period?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn..........

Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn......................... you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!

Aloy : Wah...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah......" Best in Singapore , JB, some say Batam, and now, the whole world! also ah!!!

Tell Me How

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain the only thing that's real

the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away but I remember everything

what have I become, my sweetest friend?
everyone I know goes away in the end
and you could have it all my empire of dirt
I will let you down I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear
you are someone else I am still right here

if I could start again a million miles away
I would keep myself I would find a way

Cash, Johnny: 'Hurt'.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

'The flight that never made it' - just after takeoff at Sepang International

I was flying the Malaysian Airline's Boeing 777-200ER en route to Brisbane from KLIA International, departure time 5.35am local time for almost 7 hours and twenty-three minutes real playing time in Microsoft Flight Simulator X just now.

I was making a curve to straighten my position according to the landing strip in Brisbane International. Say, ten minutes to landing time.

As I was adjusting the flaps and whatnot, the program suddenly crashed and the plane went out of control then crashed. Then the computer hanged for a bit before a Yahoo Messenger window came out:


( I replied..)

Me : yeah what
The One Who Buzzed: saje buzz la
The One Who Buzzed: mcm marah je
The One Who Buzzed: lek lek
Me: yep. u just crashed my flight from KLIA-brisbane which i was playing for straight 4-hours real time
The One Who Buzzed: alaaaaaaaaaaaa
The One Who Buzzed: sorryyyy!
The One Who Buzzed: nak beli makanan jap
The One Who Buzzed: lapa

Can you tell just how i felt?

So long Flight MH 5040 along with its 324 passengers. May you all rest in peace. Sorry for flying you all straight into the Gold Coast sea.

Friday, June 12, 2009