Sunday, August 23, 2009

I Just Don't Want To Miss You Tonight.

"You're not buying anything?"


The crowd was bigger now that I needed to pushed myself against the pole. She came nearer, and somehow that got intimately uncomfortable, at least for me. Her smell came lingering again. Wouldn't this be affecting my fasting anyway? For, say, lust?

"Really," she said. "You got my message?"

I was about to answer that when her friends came over. She told them to keep walking since she had already bought all that she needed. I looked at her friends but they didn't realize that I was. I took a quick scan on the plastics she was carrying and I saw a large pack of drink, a tandoori-percik alike chicken and something inside a polystyrene pack. There was this cute, pink-colored bandage on the wound I treated the other day. I turned around to look at Afiq who was then still busy with his roti john. You better keep busy, man.

"So did you?"

"Uh?" I was losing my mind for a while before I got to her back. "Yeah I did."

"Oh. Okay." The way she said it was somehow telling me she was expecting more.

Then we lost it. The speech just stopped there, no more push and pull going on. I looked around and she did too. What a very awkward moment. I was trying to figure something to talk but I couldn't come out with any. But then again, oh what the hell.

"Rainy day, huh?" Stupid, stupid Jacksparrow. What kind of a line that was? Suddenly I felt my cheeks were bloating somewhat into a blower-fish alike, without the thorns, for coming out with such cheesy line.

She brushed her hair backwards and she chuckled for a bit. I saw her teeth again this time in between those lips.

"It has been days like this, sir."

Yeah sure did, honey. It sure did.

"My friends are back," she said as she pointed to them using her lips. "I think I better get going now."

"Well alright then," I replied. "Have a good breakfast."

"You too, sir." She smiled at me, politely nodded and brushed her hair again. I hated it when she did that. It showered her scent - Rush - all over me again when it already had faded.

She turned around and then left to from where she came, all the way up to the end of the bazaar. I looked at her walking and talking to her friends, as I slowly losing the sight due to the heavy crowd. She didn't even turn around at all. Slowly that addictive scent went away to none.

"New girl already I see."

I turned around and saw Afiq standing next to me, one of his eyebrows intentionally lifted to signal amazement. I assumed he saw me and her just now.

"Nonsense," I said. "You done? Let's get the hell out of here."

He didn't reply but to walk along with me. On his face was this irritating smile from one ear to another that made me wanted to smack him with a decent slap. We proceeded to the car and as I was unlocking the door, a message came into my phone. I took it out and saw that unknown Maxis number again. I didn't open to read it but entered the car instead and turned on the ignition. Afiq got himself into the car, still with the annoying smile on his face.

"You're not gonna read that?"

I didn't reply. He let out a slight sigh of relief from in between his still smiling pink lips.

"A new girl indeed."

Oh just shut up already.

* * *

'I need some help with Physics. I hope you can help me out. Happy breakfast sir. Thanx.'

I was sitting on a wet wooden bench by the lake next to the mosque when I ran through the same message over and over. The prayer was still ongoing but I happened to only finish it halfway. I took out a cigarette from the pocket of my baju melayu and lighted it up. It felt nice to inhale the sinful smoke, especially during the cold weather right after the rain.

This was the second time I didn't reply her message. And this was already on the second day of the fasting month, a day gone by since she sent it to me.

If I decide not to reply, this would be the second time I will turn her down. Now, what kind of a man does that to just one helpless soul? But it wasn't all about that. It was just that, I did not think this was the right time. But then again, what did I have to lose? My feelings, they were already dead. But then again, what would become of her if I take the decision to, well, to start over? Wouldn't she just become a victim? Or maybe I was just being, say, too paranoid?

Oh what the hell.

"Sure. Where you at?"

I hit the send button and left the phone at a side of the bench where it was not wet enough to practically kill the device. I stood up and fixed my kain pelikat while resting the cigarette in between my lips. I took a look at the road next to the mosque, at a certain spot under the light, and suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my chest. The old memories, they came hitting again. Almost as suddenly, the phone rang out its incoming message tone.

"Mosque. ttyl?"

Talk to you later, she said. And she was at the mosque, probably the one I was currently looking at. Well it was not a good thing to just stand around here smoking since the chances for her to see me was quite high. After all the prayer had just finished so the situation could be hectic soon with the crowd coming out flooding the road, and she might just pop anywhere around. So I killed the smoke and made my way to the car. My destination was the usual Mesra shoppe.

Another message came in when I was leaving the parking spot, "So you decided to reply me anyway?"

I drove the car slowly along the way out as I read the message. So this was this all about. I guessed she was pissed at me for not returning any of her two messages anytime sooner than just now. Somehow I found her reaction cute.

"Sorry. Had been busy." There went a lie.

"OK. Sir kat mana?"

"Bilik." There went another.

"Ok then. Meet you 2morow nite?"

I didn't reply the message since I was already entering the petrol station compound. I parked the car at the spot I usually did and made my way into the store, leaving the phone in the passenger seat. There was a nerdy-looking guy wearing a spectacle at the counter accompanied by a lady in a scarf. Probably the usual counter girl was off-duty today, which was a good thing.

I took a can of express latte off the refrigerator and looked around, finally stopped at a shelf full of chocolates. There were varieties of them but I didn't think much than to grab a three-in-a-pack Rocher and made my way to the counter. After all the lies and the escapes, I thought it would be decent to make up to her, the one with the rosy cheeks. Well at least I won't feel anymore guilty about it, or to be coming empty-handed tomorrow.

Wait. What tomorrow? Since when I decided to go?

I made my way out the store and into the car with my coffee in my pocket and the Rocher in another. There was a miss call from that beautiful Maxis number, but none a message. Probably she was waiting for my answer. I drove out of the compound to a parking lot next to UTP grand lake, stopped the engine, lighted another cigarette and drank up my coffee while leaning against the front of the Honda. And straight away I felt reborn.

I took a look at the message she last sent me, and then the pack of Ferrero Rocher I just pre-bought for her. And then I asked myself the same question over and over again, looking for some certain solid answers. I looked at the phone on my right hand, and then the Rocher in my left, and then back to square one. Do I do this, or do I not? Damn it. I recited a prayer, and I asked for forgiveness should this come out wrong someday.

"Sure. What time?"



shera said...

Wait. What tomorrow? Since when I decided to go?

sudah tertulis..just go.. ;)

Amalina Madzlan said...

perfectly written i can say..
next episode please~!:)

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

shira: aha. not that easy kot =)

aryna: oh. dia ade test so have to wait for next story to 'happen' before it is 'written'. =b

Jeremy_wwLow said...

Have been following your blog for some time.. I'd say go for it sir.. Cheers..

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

hey bro =D

well let's see how things go this time =) thanx for ur support man. i appreciate it. send my regards to bellybutton isabelle =b

Mireya said...

i wish i had the same guts mcm that girl. hoho.

gud luck btw! ;)

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

mira: terima kasih =)