Thursday, September 17, 2009

Whisper In My Ear, Baby

Situated just next to the North-South Highway and massive Ipoh's neighborhood, this had to be one of the busiest McDonald in town. Endless number or cars came in and out, while more and more customers entered from the main door and left via the other as the time got nearer to breakfast schedule. The place seemed to get busy by the seconds.

I looked at the people around me as the sun set in slowly, creating wonderful colors in the sky, of orange and yellow and red and purple. Everybody disappeared in the shadows of the pleasant evening. Seated in one of the table, I did not pay any attention at all to the person who sat in front of me - most probably because I did want to put myself in even the most basic communication with her, at least not until I calm down and figure just what the hell had happened earlier. In my mind the same phrase played over and over.

"My boyfriend."

I could feel the static charges storming in my head as my mind continuously analyzing the situation from every corner, trying to judge every event with my experiences and predictions, trying to find patterns in which every argument collided and merged into one understandable explanation on why this happened to me. But I was just too scared to face the fear.

Cheated, used, manipulated. Anger seemed to be the best thing to enjoy at the particular moment. But I kept cool and steady, not to be tricked into my own emotions again, for that I was trying my best to be in control. But as the elders used to say; the strongest current flow underneath the calmest.

"You," she said.

I turned to her and tried my very best to smile. I could have sworn that more or less I looked like a smirking donkey. Nevertheless, I waited for her next line. In between, I put an eye on the fried chickens and the burgers on the table. They looked yummy.

"Do you mind if someone wants to join us?"

"Oh no, no. Not at all," I replied in my most confident tone. "Siapa? Your friends?"

"No la," she said as she checked her phone. "Abang Man nak join kita berbuka."

"Abang Man mana?"

She didn't even look at me while the conversation was ongoing.

"Abang Man," she said before pausing and later continued with a soft tone close to a whisper,

"my boyfriend."

I could hear both my ears dropped to the floor with a thud.

* * *

The pastry crust went past my throat like sandpapers scraping my food channel. That was the worst pie I ever ate, not because it was horrible but because I swallowed them bit by bit without munching. What I saw in front of my eyes could was damn unbelievable.

They talked and talked and talked and laughed and laughed and laughed. The patted each other and they stared in each others' eyes. They smiled and they joked. And where was I again? At the other corner of the table like a bloody idiot munching on an apple pie, looking at them. Man, I felt like I wanted to lift the table off from the ground and smack it on his head. What was I, just a shadow? Just a week back we were having fun at the same table, me and rosy cheeks, where she asked if I would love her. Talking about how people change.

But there was no doubt why she would choose him over me.

He wore an office attire, which I assumed he just got back from work. Stylishly he came to our table shy a few minutes from breakfast, shook my hand and took a seat. The fair and handsome late-twenties man wore no spectacle, his hair looked great, his shoes shone like sun does and he smelt of Dunhill. His watch was no match for my Tag Heuer, let alone his car - a bloody silver eagle-eye Beemer. A freaking three series Beemer. The guy drove a freaking three series eagle-eye Beemer. I looked at my car that was parked alone by the road in total sadness.

Sometimes rosy cheeks glanced at me while she was conversing with him. And every time she did that, a crack appeared on what's left of my severely broken heart. Under the table I clamped my hands together, and I could feel how every nerve of my body twitched. I could just stand for myself and leave from this madness, but all that I could do was to smile at her every time she looked at me. I just didn't want to ruin anybody's mood today but mine. After all, I didn't have anything to lose.

After some time rosy cheeks excused herself to the bathroom. She fixed her hair as she walked, showing the underneath of the fair, soft arms as she walked around the table as if she danced on the floor smoothly. Her perfume came stroking me as she passed my seat and, satin shawl brushed against my shoulder. I looked at her as she walked into the premise and all the way to the back through the glass wall. When she disappeared, I turned to him who also followed rosy cheeks with his eyes. He took a notice and looked at me. I smiled.

Well buddy, looks like it's just the two of us now.


It4Ch1 said...

SNAP! this gonna end badly if u pick the wrong move.

just inviting her bf to breakfast with u, just shows her naivety or her trying to push your buttons.

or She's a newbie in this bf gf stuffs.

shera said...

"I had never been in one." (love lh kan?)

ni bukan ke ayat dari rc awak tuh? siapa bf dia ni sebenarnya?? haiz.

W. Suhailaliza W. M. H. said...

sorry jack. but y do i think that she's up to something? i mean, maybe she's teasing u, or maybe testing you? or maybe that man is also in the same team? maybe he is just the foster brother or maybe cousin and they happened to be so close? and they are testing you as she's never fallen in love kan? so the first man must be good la kan..

first, on ur previous post, about she's avoiding you, i thought maybe she was confused or something. but when she did this, i wonder why would she? after all the things she told you? what is the significance of all those utters? maybe she's testing you.

well, sorry for being over emotional about this. she's really playing her game lah. i think.

btw, sorry jack. i got ur cues. i am cheeky sometimes.and thats no good! selamat hari raya jack.

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

muspa: i did pick the wrong move. sigh. what would one do in such situation?

shira: itulah T_T

W.S: yea she's up to something. question is, what?

MeiLin said...

It did sound like she's acting a lil too cruel to u..rite??

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

melinda: not only she sounded like, she acted like too T_T

woody said...

get up, light a ciggarette, leave.

Felicia F. Ramzi said...

clearly an attention seeker to me..

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

right round said. nicotine rush was just what i needed.

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

is she? why?

farishta said...

I agree with Felicia. She may very well be a nice person and all but this gal has issues. I am ashamed to admit it but I was this girl once long, long ago. Seeking male attention, adulation... it gave its own "high".

There doesn't need to be a reason for her to do all this, Jack. She (like me before :P) is the gal who wants her cake and eat it too. She wants it all.. and she doesn't really mind if she leads others on whilst she does it and to hell with their feelings. She's attractive and she knows it but I think deep inside there are insecurities that push her to seek 'validation' in this way.

Tread carefully, adeq. You are still in a fragile state. Take care.

Felicia F. Ramzi said...

she's making a fool out of you.. and you.. willingly allow yourself being treated this way..

W. Suhailaliza W. M. H. said...

yup. i agree with Felicia.
who does she think she is? if that Abang Man is her boyfriend, who are you to her after a few dates? tutor? okay, acceptable kot. but does she need to do that?

well, maybe she's not in love with that man as she said "i've never been in love". but does she really need to do that? from ur latest post pun, how could she ran after you when her man was there, watching the drama? u get what i mean? are they up to something? or maybe she's confused. you or Abang Man?


Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

uh.. T_T