Monday, October 12, 2009

Order 66

Day #81

I looked at the sky this morning and I felt rather strange. Some of the things that I dreamed of somehow happened to be just like how they did in my dreams. Everything that happened seemed to be foreseen by me days before they did.

And this reminded me to Order 66.

* * *

The same dream again.

It has been four days now that I have been getting the same dream over and over. And this has very little to do with what I had been thinking about - almost entirely unrelated. At times when we think so much about something, we tend to dream about it.

But I did not think about it at all.

Four days I had been seeing you crying while you were looking at me in my dreams. And four days too that I had seen myself not only to lose sleep at nights but also to find myself sitting on my bed looking blindly at forming water drops from residing morning dews on the window while everyone else was sleeping, trying my very best to figure out what was going on - what was these dreams were all about? Were them some sort of signs? Some sort of messages? Some sort of being trying to tell me that there was something that I ought to know, that I must know?

And four days too I ended up being on the soft, blue mattress presenting myself before God Himself, to ask for His guidance and help after being awaken from such dreams. And so He listened, neverendingly. And from that moment onward, things slowly started to reveal the pages. Slowly help came appearing in my way.

It was not until today that I finally took the decision to do what I should have. This has gone way too out of control.

"Therefore God, I seek Thy guidance and assistance in order for me to seek the truth; in order for me to seek my own happiness; and there be O' Lord no barricades at all between me and my objectives; and if shall there be, in Thee I bury my trust and faith and in Thee I truly believe, and I pray for Thy protections from everything evil, for I am now facing the most difficult times of my journey so far.

I call upon the spirits of the Haqqani, and I summon the fellowship of the supreme Naqshbandi Order and the ties of Muhammadyyah for their prayers and supports in order for me to deal with these difficulties.

Makbulkanlah doaku, peliharalah diriku, keluargaku dan orang-orang yang aku sayang, bentengkanlah aku daripada perbuatan aniaya, dan pulangkanlah kesakitan yang aku alami kerana angkara orang-orang yang berhasad dengki, kerana sesungguhnya Ya Allah, aku adalah di antara umat Muhammad-Mu yang telah sekeras-kerasnya dizalimi."

I am sorry for doing this. But I felt even sorrier to myself that I had to.

God be with me.

* * *

'Known associates, it is time. Execute order 66.'

- 10.50pm, 12th October via

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