Tuesday, October 20, 2009

So Why Didn't You Call?

Woke up early around 6.00am in the morning today, for some reasons I do not anymore remember at this moment.

As usual by routine, I boiled some water and made some toast for breakfast. Had myself a decent cup of coffee, a glass of orange juice, a set of toast and also for some reasons I do not anymore remember, a large piece of salad with a bit of mayo on it. Once done with the food, I stepped out and sat at the edge of my block building while admiring the new sunrise then, with my coffee and a cigarette in my hand.

I felt so much alive, I must say.

Had my shower soon afterward. Did some facial shaving and scrubbing. Ironed my green Polo shirt and black pants, dressed them up and was ready for work when it happened. The usually-silent mobile phone suddenly rang out a message tone. Not very reluctant to even look at it, I took my time before actually attended to the message.

Little that I knew that the message made me stared for quite a long time.

* * *

"We broke up. Please advise. Please talk to me. I'm losing control."

At first it was far from my intention to reply the message. In fact, I wanted to delete it straight away. A few reasons there were: 1) I did not want to ruin my beautiful morning with relationship problems, 2) OTHER'S relationship problem, 3) she is an ex who left without even a 24-hour notice beforehand, 4) past histories between us that needed not to be told exactly here, but it is safe to assume that we ended up quite badly.

But I guess I am just too soft-hearted at times. Slowly I examined the situations and hell, she might needed my help anyway. So I called her up. Took a few calls before she actually answered the phone.


No audible sound.

"Hello? You?"

The sound of a person breathing.

"You there? You okay?"

And she burst into tears right away.

"My God, woman," said I to myself, "this has got to be a disaster."

From the way she sounded, she must have already been crying at least for the last 6 hours. All I could have pictured about her was she in her pajamas, sitting at the corner of the bed in her dark room while hugging on her pillow in her folded legs, wet from her own tears, with a hand in her messy long hair and another holding the mobile phone. That was always her when she broke down.

Let's call her Sha.

"Kenapa ni Sha? Why, what happened?"
"He left."
Must be the guy she has been with, I guess. The guy who wanted to marry her so much that caused us to end up with a price.
"But why?"

Then she sobbed again and again and again before she finally told me the real situation. To tell the whole thing here might require me to write a full book of it and make myself a millionaire from the sell, so let's just say they broke up over a final, bitter argument over a certain reason that if I were the guy, well, I might think of leaving too. It has been a week, and this got to her pretty much badly.

So I spent half of my morning to help her out. Helping a relationship between her and him - the relationship I never really had the chance to have with her. Heck, I even called the guy to speak a word or two with him on behalf of this lady.

By the evening, she called to say that he was standing in front of her house with a bouquet of roses, with that stupid grin on his face.

Thank God you listened to me, you dick.

* * *

And then for some certain reasons, I and her we had this little chit-chat once the drama was over.

"So you're still single?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "apparently."

"But why? Not that you can't get yourself any decent woman."

I laughed a little.

"Probably, Sha," I said, "probably I am still waiting for you."


I laughed a bit louder when she said that. So did her. When the laughter settled, she started to speak again.

"You know, Nazmi," she paused for a while before continuing, "I did wait for some time in case you come back."

"Yeah?" I said. "Did you?"

"I did, yes," she replied. "But you never did call."

"Ah." All I could say was 'ah'.

"So why didn't you call?"

It took some time for me to think before I actually answered.

"Sha," I needed to swallow my saliva a few times before I said this, for past histories started to flash before my eyes, "you made me swore to you that night that I was not to contact you anymore. Never. So I kept to my words."

"Did you know how painful it was to wait for your call each night?"

"Pain!" I said. "Don't talk to me about pain."

This had caused us a long pause before I spoke again.

"I didn't know that you waited. I'd never knew, you'd never tell."

"Only if you know kan?"

"Too bad I am not a mind reader," I said, "and even if I was, I would be the worst mind reader after all."

"I should have let you know," she said before a short sigh. "Never did I know that you would stick to your words. I was mad then, you know?"

"Sticks to his words, a man should."

"And you have grown into a man, now. You were a man then you are a man now. And what regrets, what a waste that I chose a boy to love instead."

I could only smile.

"Goodbye, Sha," I finally said. "And congratulations for the wedding."


soleil m said...

i feel like crying.. :( this is sad!

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

=) which part is?

shera said...

are u okay..? i mean, now?

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

i've been better, yes, well, i guess :b

shera said...

not sure eyh..tak la tu..i guess :p

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

haha. u know me~ but yea i feel better. thanks gem. mish you tho~

shera said...

oke..dun make others cried laa..mengaderr..

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

ala.mana i tau orang bleh nangis baca blog i. why? u cried too?

im sorry for your loss, anyway.

shera said...

me? never. mine? manede.heh.

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

well owrite. talk to the palm, gem.

1R1N said...

wuu.nice story.macam drama.

Razana Adam Lee said...

this is kinda sad..

~riena~ said...

thank u for continue writing..

ur good at handling gurl with emotionally unstable...