Sunday, January 03, 2010

My Immortal

There are times when life has me sitting on my chair thinking over certain things that linger in my mind still.

Today is one of those times.

Poisoned with tobacco and caffeine, here I sit looking outside the window. Clearly enough there is nothing interesting except for the pitch-dark environment and leftovers from the recent downpour. Except from the orange salt lamp, there is no other source of light. I intentionally turned off all fluorescent lights just now, in the course to find the mood for thinking.

(Lighting a cigarette.)

The smoke travels at various ways as I let it out through my lips shaped to an 'O'. Freely but pointless. Visible for a while then disappears.

How I wish it is easy for me to forget certain things that happened in my life, as easy as the smoke vanishes into the open air. But blessed (or cursed, I do not know) with somewhat good memory, I could only wish to forget those bitter things I would want to forget.

Many things were achieved last year. Research went so well that we have now established the first cluster of research of its kind in the whole nation, probably too in the whole wide world. Followers of this blog increased by number, and so did the fan page. Some of my writings were highly appreciated, and I earned a few dollars from them. Met new people too, from commoners up to celebrities. I got invited to attend many events and club activities, even into a political party. Mighty Jacksparrow too has his own achieved goals. It is well to say that last year won me a great amount of success.

But everything that is won has its losses.

Last year too I have lost someone I called a lover. I have too lost a good friend, and I have seen how someone I have always seen as a friend turned into a complete betrayer. I have been facing quite some difficulties and other unfortunate events that had a few times brought me kneeling on the ground begging for mercy.

Therefore it would be wise too to conclude that whatever happened last year could be seen as fairly balanced.

I have changed to a totally new person. Thanks to these people; the family, Syarifah, Fafau, Rawr Rawr, Sazzy Falak & Nash, Fiza Falak (bushuk!), Fynn & Wani, Anne Lutania, Sheera, Hidayah (Nuheeee! :b), Chez Isham, Altimet, Mia Suraya, Lydea, Shasheera, Juwita, Shazlin, Abuzar, Dzulkarnain Zaini, Chef Boven (hey where's my steak?), Elly, Cik Jaa, Dahlia Mazelan, Syed Idrus, my underqualified girlfriend Mylissa, Aliana, Johari Salleh, Fara Glamrock (boleh juga ba kalaw kaw), Rieyna, Dr Azhani, Dr Hajar Miluvia, Dr Shafiqa, Rina Omar (yeaarrghhh!!), Hunny Hazwani, Shida Zali, The Mutton Curry Gang, among many others, and not to forget Miss Rosy Cheeks. I am now a happier person, more oriented, outgoing and wiser. I did have my laughs, thanks to these people. Temper for me is just so yesterday, in fact, I did not lose my temper at all for almost five months now, and that thanks so much to one wise teacher Ustaz Azhar and of course a long lost friend, Noraz.

But I still say that there is something wrong somewhere.

* * *

"These wounds won't seem to heal."
My Immortal; Evanescence, from the album 'Fallen', December 08, 2003.


LuTaNiA said...

Aawww... You're welcome. :)
Now what did I do to earn such honor? hehe

Momoe said...

funny. We had the same title for the latest post :P

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

Anne: You did a number of significant things to me that matter, anne. and for that, thank you very much, and with that, i wish you a happy new year.

Momoe: haha. telekinetic chemistry redefined :b

cik jaa said...

glad to know u, jack =)

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

likewise, cik jaa

HaNi said...

i've read this one before.. my name was not here previously.. hurmmm

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

yea added many other names too this evening. ramai sangat. tak teringat semua

HaNi said...

owh ok

W. Suhailaliza W. M. H. said...

is that Elly, this Elly? coz as far as I'm concerned, I did nothing. *blur*

p.s: dang! just got the time to catch up here.