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Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

The Tale of A Very, Very Horny Gorilla


Fine Saturday afternoon.

The zoo happened to be rather empty than usual. Except for a few old couples and some small groups of kids, there were not many people who came visiting, which was quite a surprise, especially when it was Saturday.

From afar one could possibly tell there was a man-made bridge that was recently erected to connect the main ground with a man-made miniature island that was surrounded with a small man-made lake. The island was made specially to keep one 15-year old male gorilla the size of a Mini Cooper. This too, one could easily tell by looking from far, far away, especially when the route to the island was marked with a very large, red-color metal billboard with a gorilla head imprint and an embossed arrow showing what was to be expected once one took the road.

A route to a very, very horny gorilla, so did the sign say.

And clearly enough one could see there was a couple, probably in their mid-thirties and had been married for a few years long but bear a child they did not, holding hands together while walking along the man-made bridge that led to the man-made island that was surrounded by a man-made lake, taking them to the secluded sanctuary-class ground, in their hands were slurpee and tortilla, to meet one 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla.


* * *

"So where's that God damn thing," asked the obviously male human partner to the obviously female human.

For better referencing, we now know this male human as Greg.

"Oh calm down, will you?" said the female one, of whom now we understand that she possessed the name Rachel. "He will come anytime now," she continued to say as she knocked on the aluminum railing slowly as she thought this will draw the gorilla's attention rather quickly.

And she was right. From beneath the canopy bush the gorilla appeared slowly like a gray-color Mini Cooper revving shyly from beneath a dark garage. Rachel was happy for having the thought that she happened to draw the attention of the monster quite easily, but very little did she know that the animal appeared not because of the knocking she made, but more towards the odor she emitted from beneath her arms and neck, brought by the blowing wind to and into the nose of the 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla.

The smell of a woman.

This smell caused the curious animal to come out from his hideout with an urgent need to discover. And he saw the two humans standing before the 100-foot tall custom-made super-strong stainless steel alloy fencing system with sixteen remotely-controlled security camera attached on the fence pillars at every five feet horizontal interval.

The gorilla was nevertheless pleased to see the lady, though somewhat his animal instinct suggested otherwise about the man beside her. The beast gave the man one jealous stare before he sat on his mediocre, royal butt the size of a fridge at the middle of the plain field next to a small hut erected specially for him by concerned zoo authority.

* * *

Now it is wise to note that this gorilla had been a subject of growing interest lately that the zoo attendants decided to place him in a much more secluded spot on a man-made island at the center of the zoo, surrounded with a 100-foot deep man-made lake and extensive state-of-the-art holier-than-thou 100-foot sky-shooting fencing system (with 30-foot deep, 5-foot thick advance-concrete surrounding barrier buried underground beneath the steel fence) to seclude the horny bastard from the outer world, where the only way out from the man-made island that was surrounded by a man-made lake was through one, and just one, man-made bridge.

The reason why the 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla had to stay in such a fortress was that he had just reached his age of maturity recently, which was very late for such Silverback. This had caused the gorilla to roam around senselessly in his previous cage, that also accommodated six other female gorillas, an old male gorilla and one sexually-confused gorilla. He so far had four of the females died from ungodly-excessive mating activities that cost them extreme tiresome, one of them was driven into a state of comatose, while the last one was barely saved by the zoo attendants from the complete madness, many thanks to the insane series of screaming she made when cornered by the 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla.

She now resides at a very quiet place in an undisclosed location far in the forgotten land of Siberian territory, accompanied by two nurses and a small, very disturbed duck.

The old gorilla however was unharmed but died anyway from heart-stopping terror after seeing the aftermath. The zoo attendants had a very difficult time fixing the old fart's facial expression before the funeral, from which one could clearly tell that the guy died from witnessing a very, very, very disturbing happening. He had seen and believed, they said. But at least one good thing happened - the sexuality of the sexually-confused gorilla was finally determined after being toyed over and over by the 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla, few times as a male and otherwise a female.

The then sexually-confused gorilla, after the incident had chosen to alternatively switch gender at times depending on needs and now works as an acrobatic pole-swapping artist cum solo singer at a local circus group.

* * *

Now back to the 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla.


"He looked troubled," said Greg to Rachel.

"Well aren't you all males alike?" said Rachel who was still knocking on the aluminum railing.

Greg did not say anything to that, instead he suggested, "well why don't you entertain him a little?"

She thought for a while about this.

There was nobody else around, so she thought why not? Then she unbuttoned three of the top buttons on her blouse, showing a bit of flesh to the lonely, unexpected creature. And of course, after being isolated alone for close to a month now, this drove the interest of him to spike in a sky-rocketing manner. The monster stood up on his leg.

"Ah," said Greg. "He surely is interested."

One thing about women is that, they get motivated by men's attention. This of course led Rachel to unbutton three more of her blouse buttons and showed a bit of her stomach to the excited creature. She moved her blouse in a manner that her shoulder started showing.

The beast started to breath heavily.

"Go on," said Greg. "Show him some more."

Rachel lifted a bit of her long skirt to expose her fair hip to the 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla. Well, another thing about women is that, they tend to overdo things before realizing it. And before Rachel realized this, which she never did anyway, she was already moving in a very, very, very seducing gesture.

And at this time only poets and miserable college students could precisely describe of what was going on with the 15-year old, very, very horny male gorilla. The beast was rolling around in such a way to express himself in a manner that a man does not. What a very, very sexually-deprived animal.

Then Rachel took off her blouse entirely and showed the beast the obvious difference between men and very, very blessed women particularly at the chest area.

The gorilla was now pounding his head over and over against one unfortunate palm tree he accidentally knocked over head-on while rolling around just now.

Then almost as a sudden, Greg pulled Rachel's hand, keyed in the security code to open the camouflaged steel door, pushed her in and closed the door right back.

"Now," Greg said to the panicking Rachel after gulping on his slurpee and bit a bit of his tortilla.



"Now tell him that you're tired and that you have a headache."


* * *


Morale:

1. Don't show off to much and overdo it.
2. Don't fuck with excite males unnecessarily.
3. Wear deodorant.
4. Don't just listen and follow. THINK and JUSTIFY.
5. Love your man right. Especially when he worked days and nights placing that damn electronic lock on the camouflaged door that caused him to come back late every night from the zoo only to find you 'tired and have a headache.'
6. Deeds are returned, so are pains in the ass.

4 comments:

Fiza Falak said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Adyla said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA funny like hell!!

Mighty Jacksparrow said...

aha. thanks you two :D

woody said...

entirely true..
o/ i like