Followers

Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Monday, March 15, 2010

The Morning That Was Particularly Just Too Wrong


A certain specific event occurred to me this fine morning.

Nothing makes me feel better than to wake up to see the sun shone onto my face through the blinds, with crystal-like effects from the window which was covered with marks from early morning dews. Soon as I woke up, I boiled the water and prepare myself a completely astounding cups of Sumatran margarine-fried, caramelized coffee by the press and had myself a puff or two of fine Virginian roll while I was with it. I turned on the speaker and listened to Andrea Bocelli while having both things I found royal to me, this particular fine morning. I felt completely refreshed for having such a manly start.

The only thing that could break the peace that time is either painstaking human stupidity at a mass level, or completely unexpected, surprising surprise that happens to catch me by, or course, surprise.

Let's just say I happened to know this one particular girl whom I supposed to be very charming, at least to me. You know, my definition of charming is always abstract; inconsistent, vague, unclear at all, but still as promising. Me and this girl, we had some bits of chats - nothing in particular very much into flirting - just some very, very casual talks.

Now this lady happens to like my voice because, somehow from my speech over the phone, her auditory system and brain interpret it as almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a male flight attendant, which is wrong, because I always picture myself speaking like a pilot on a freaking Star Destroyer, which is non-existing just yet, at least not for a hundred years or so. Nevertheless I happened to speak like that and she got her attention on me, totally, and though this has got nothing to do at all with what this whole story is all about, I just find it entertaining enough to include this completely astonishing, spectacular finding in one whole chunk of paragraph, 3 minutes worth of writing, just to screw with those who claim I always boast about myself in my blog, because since you were already at it, might as well I play along, no?

Moving on now.

I opened my email today to check on my mail, only to read a lot of them - some followers needing me to proofread their articles, engineering conferences alert, an email from MAS ticketing, an email from a lady who wanted me to teach her English, an email from a guy who wanted me to teach him English, and finally two emails that caught my attention - one from an angry guy who told me to stay off his girl (girl here means a lady from which he has been continuously struggling to court for almost a year now but she just isn't much into him, let alone being in a position where it is socially-approved to be called his girl but he did anyway just to prove that the Earth is pyramidal in shape, well good luck with that) and an ex boyfriend who wanted me to tell the ex girlfriend not to contact him anymore.

Let's not talk about the angry kid, because by doing so, he will only get angrier. He either will shoot a ballistic missile towards my room anytime soon, or die from a heart failure and blood pressure, whichever comes first. And that guy is somebody in campus, I could always deal with it later.

Now the next one is interesting. This one is about the girl I earlier mentioned.

Now, with all due respect why, why would I want to do that? Telling an ex girlfriend that her ex boyfriend wants her to stop contacting him? Why, do I look like a messenger now? What, do I look like I've got nothing better to do? If it's an ex girlfriend wanting me to speak to her ex boyfriend to stay the FUCK away from her, well, I might just do it.

But an ex boyfriend wanting me to tell his ex girlfriend to stop contacting him? Come on! I rather sit down quietly all day looking at a lonely egg lying on the table on an egg-hatching duty hoping it will hatch into a raccoon sometime soon!


I just don't fuckin' believe it.


Wait, raccoon don't lay eggs. Whatever.

Point is, come on. You are manly enough to do such a small task. It's not rocket science. It's not like proposing (oh yeah, if anyone asks me to help them with relationship proposals, bear in mind that you will either succeed with bombarding colors like a hero does, or we're just gonna fuck things up and end up with me patting your back as you cry by the drain from the epiphany, either way it's your call but I'll still help anyway with the sentiment :b) or breaking out a seriously bad news. It's just, like what, telling her?

No more stuffs like that, please. And stop stalking me. I'm a guy for God's sake. Have some pride. And I'm not digging into your ex, not now at least. So take some time to grow up, do something that matters, be a man, and stop this completely rubbish, nonsensical act.


Seriously.



1 comment:

Dayah said...

yeah, mmg totally so wrong..sengal mamat tu