Sunday, May 02, 2010

Silky Forgiveness

One of my weaknesses is to easily forgive people.

Just like that.

Until one day I realized that a penny spent was never a penny returned.

I saw a pattern that somewhat people took advantage of me by being all too forgiving. By forgiving them over and over, I realized that they kept on repeating the same mistakes again and again, only in the end to easily ask for forgiveness, and I to easily forgive them.

Not only that, I showered them with gifts along with that forgiveness, hoping that they will realize their mistakes and soon begin to learn from them, only to again be manipulated.

Which is, too bad.

I have let people poked into my face. Let them laughed at me. I have been there, to all those unfortunate situations. They ridiculed me, they laughed at me, they did many things that when other people do to them, they will even run a counterattack campaign or just sulk at a corner crying with their heads buried deep in their legs. Been there, done that, not fun at all.

I understand that people make mistakes. But twice the same mistake make one a fool, three times make one a prick.

And my mistake was to always forgive them.

Funny, just how I thought that by encouraging them to becoming better persons by giving them gifts, bringing them to food outlets, taking them in a ride and even spending my time with them, it one day will ever make at least a difference - it never did, it just never will. All they did was to be even more irritating, more annoying and deliberately not fun at all.

And at that time, you will regret about all the things you have showered on them in the pursuit to support them hastily within your own capability in the hopes that they will one day become a pack of great people you will be proud of, only to discover that they just, by the look of it, won't at all.

Sad, that I actually did spend some time thinking about these people; about how to make them live better, to support them strongly, to enhance their mood and emotions and morales. What a bunch of wasted money, mindpower and time.

And even worst, wasted forgiveness.

So people, be careful with who you want to forgive.

Because most of the times, they don't even deserve not even a slight chance of it at all.

* * *

I always thought that you'd be somewhat different from the others. I always did.

But too bad you turned out to be just the same.

And I don't think I am anymore able to forgive you this one more time, just like every time I did in the past.

Too bad.


Malin said...

nice ah! :D

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...


Merissa K. said...

it's never a waste to forgive.


Wan Nur Aishah Wan Ali said...

I wonder what makes you think it is a weakness.

shera said...

betol la..

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

Merissa: I wish to hear more from you, ye ol' darling.

Aisha: I consider things that do not benefit me the most shall ever be benefit of none. Hence a failed investment is always prematurely to be avoided.

Shera: hai pipi ;)

Wan Nur Aishah Wan Ali said...

Benefit of none?
Maybe it is a benefit to-be.
Time will tell =)

Mohamad Nazmi Zaidi said...

aha. i hardly believe in vague assurance, darling.