Followers

Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Fashion, Style, and Popped-up Collars.




There are always misconceptions in fully understanding the meanings of fashion and style, and the way to distinguish them from one another. 


As most of us, except those ignorant bastards who don't at all bother to even suit up sometimes, have gone through many latest pages of the latest fashion in magazines and other types of misguiding communication mediums that purely shape our current and perhaps future pop cultures. But as to look again at the definition of fashion as we completely understand, or at least we thought we do, lets go through this definition as depicted by Wikipedia:

Fashion, a general term for the style and custom prevalent at a given time, in its most common usage refers to costume or clothing style. The more technical term, costume, has become so linked in the public eye with the term "fashion" that the more general term "costume" has in popular use mostly been relegated to special senses like fancy dress or masquerade wear, while the term "fashion" means clothing generally, and the study of it. This linguistic switch is due to the fashion plates which were produced during the Industrial Revolution, showing the latest designs.For a broad cross-cultural look at clothing and its place in society, refer to the entries for clothing, costume and fabrics.

This means, whatever you see in the magazine pages where models with bodies you swear you would eat a whole cow alive for are put on with the latest development in the industry of fashion - sometimes too developed that it gets so puzzling to tell whether those are real people or some mutated hermaphrodite chickens with fancy hats and makeups - actually depict the real sense of fashion at that given time where the magazine is considered still valid. 


 What in the name of *fuck* is that?! It moves OMG KILL IT KILL IT



Where style, I believe, in the sense of clothing is the way one manipulates fashion into perfectly fitting his or her self individual and independence expression. Style is where one picks from variety of fashions to choose from according to his or her individual choice, and set it as how clothes represent his or her individualism.

The common mistake that people always do is to totally copying, or partially close to, the way the models dress up, from which in their eyes look sensibly fashionable and extremely attractive enough to attract the opposite gender while causing total envy in the other, and both in hermaphrodites. While this case only occur to straight people, it is wise to note that the opposite happens to the less-straight people where they find the clothing to be sensibly fashionable and extremely attractive enough to attract the same gender while causing total envy in the other, and still both in hermaphrodites. This of course make them only fashionable but not at all stylish. 


"Yo you're right. She's a man alright."



According to my fashion-savvy mother who was and still an agent for fashion and various cosmetic products; Avon, Nutri-Metics, Yves Rocher et cetera:

"Everyone can have a sense of fashion but not everyone is born with a sense of style."

Therefore, it can be seen here that fashion can be easily picked up from various available media sources and at most capitalist fashion outlets, and within minutes you can evolve from zero to hero. But the thing is, you are only halfway of becoming a real hero unless you can bring out the hero in you in the sense of style. With the Egometer still halfway to go, you need to check on how you can bring the whole potential of heroism in you, or to women (and some men), feminism. 



"The Egometer is low! Quick, Annie, pop up my collar!"


As again according to my beloved could-have-been-a-fashion-star-but-never-got-the-chance-to-go-that-far mother, from which she spoke to me while she was cooking, literally giving the chicken or whatever shenanigans that were in the Chinese wok a second round of death experience, she again insisted that:

"...you should first choose what you want to be according to what you are, and then only you choose your clothes. That is how you work on your style."

And of course for the umphteenth time around, my hell-of-a-cook mother was right. 

Choose first on what you want people to see you as; would you want to be a stylish executive, a model, a revolutionist, a rock star, a hippie, a Ronald MacDonald or a stripper (cheapest option before full nudity - all you need are just craps of shiny undergarments and you're good to go) and then choose your clothes accordingly to your preferences, instead of just browsing through the magazines and pick which looks good in your eyes, because what looks good in your eyes could be a disaster to others since it is either you don't fit in those types of clothing, or, or...well that's it - you don't fit in those types of clothing. 

Bear in minds on colors and designs and cloth materials - all the basics that you need to know before shopping for attires just so that you won't pick wrongly. For instance: vertical-stripes shirt might look damn arousing on that muscular model, but if you are the type of person that needs to stand at one place twice to make a shadow, don't even think about wearing it. 

And be careful with branded items. These items, that are often overpriced and seasonal, are also being things that people want to have these days. I don't have any objection against people possessing these items, not even to teenage girls with figures barely showing who will kill for that fifteen grand worth Prada tote bag, let alone to that boy who does not even have enough for food but bears an iPhone anyway - no, I clearly, absolutely, totally and wholly do not have any objection at all. But bear in mind that only buy these things as long as they worth your time and moolah. Note too that people with high status and who are evidently stylish avoid excessively large stamps of brand on their clothing lines, because they buy those things for their quality and they have the money for them and not because they want to show off to other people both in direct and indirect manners by flashing those Jimmy Choo's around, somewhat suggesting other people's attires worth nothing more than just a piece of sun-dried baboon turds.


 What most designers see in fashion.


So you might want to do that as well - don't buy those Ralph Lauren shirts with super-large pony imprints and those Burberry pants with that super-flashy Burberry check patterns all over and that cap with cK letters the size of a Mini Cooper on it. And pull a cheek away from that Santa Barbara shirt with 'POLO' word printed beneath the collar that in order to show it around you have to pop it up wherever you go, including when you are actually waiting for a bus, while you are in the bus, and when you take a crap at the station's toilet. People with good fashion eyes could easily tell your brands pretty quickly, so there is no whatsoever need to educate the others by having your brands clearly visible. The usual little pony (on PRL), the small Burberry Knight and tiny Tommy Hilfiger flag are enough to make it not only less flashy but increase the elegance - your elegance. 



Stop it Edward.


As to conclude this fashion talk, let's hear another one of my mother's greatest kitchen philosophical quotes ever:

"The people who buy branded items with even the smallest intention to show off," she said while she chopped the whole chicken into little pieces so efficiently you wish that knife will never ends up on you, "are not stylish at all."

With that thing in her hand, nobody says no to Mom.




A Big Bird Shitting Into Your Mouth


Looking back, there were always unexpected but nevertheless amazing things I received in my email inbox each day. 

The emails came from a lot of sources, and I found them to be very entertaining; the bigger the news it brought in, the more entertaining it became. Often automatically ended up in my junk mails section, let's go through some of them that I happened to still have in the box:

1. "One Goddamn Million Pound Sterling you have just won, sir."
There we go - an email came in and told that I won a lottery that worths one goddamn million pound sterlings. Wow! What a bloody way to tell me that I won a goddamn million pounds via email, and how surprising it was indeed to know that I fortunately won the lottery despite the fact that I never have bought any lottery ticket my whole life from any local 4D Toto shops, let alone the UK national lottery! What a charming surprise! Moooommm I won one meeeeeeelion pounds!

2. "Offer! A Bottle of Viagra at $10 each!"
WOW! A whole bottle of those blue happy pills at only ten bucks each? No shit?! Mother-freaking great, that should be the best offer ever! I have no bloody idea why would I need those pills at this age but what the hell. Forget the bottle, give me a pail of them instead. So how much would it cost, say, five bucks now? Five bucks oh yeah. Give me another pail, just in case.

3. "I need your help on USD 40 million inheritance money transfer."
No freaking kidding? You're freaking dying over there, and you need to move forty goddamn million dollars of your money into my account? And you don't even know my full name? Where do you live again, sir? Botswana? So when will you die, anyway? Can I have your daughters too perhaps? Hey you don't happen to own some Rolls Royce do you? You do? Great! Bank those shits in too.

4. "For security purposes, we need you to verify your Maybank account."
God-freaking-damn it! You could be the best security check ever! Not only you are able to trace me down to my email and remind me about those possible threats where my account could be hacked any minute now, you could also offer to protect an account that I have never ever had opened my whole life with Maybank! Great! Now the dying Botswana guy can transfer his USD 40 million into my now super-secure Maybank account along with that one goddamn million pound sterlings lottery that I won!

5. "Forward this letter to 10 different people in your email address or you will die in 3 seconds. Trust me, IT WILL HAPPEN!"
Whaaaatt..?! No shits? But how could I actually forward the whole thing when doing those will already cost me more than 3 seconds? And I only have 3 people in my email address and the rests are kangaroos and other marsupials, so how could I forward the email to 10 people? Noooo I don't want to freaking die! I cannot die now! I have not spent not a single cent of the money I somewhat won from the UK lottery and the money the dying Botswana guy wanted me to help him with (he'd better be dead by now oh God please just bless him), and I still have a pail of Viagra I have yet to use and another pail of it too, just in case! 


To the readers: It is to note that by now you should have realized that your emails have been hacked into via a bug that is planted at the beginning of this article. Please send me your email addresses and the passwords for me to neutralize it. In order to compensate your losses, I will pay you fifty (50) million francs to each of you via wire transfer from The National Bank of Mombasa, therefore I need your bank account numbers and the PINs as well. As a complimentary gift, each of you will receive a pail of Viagra. FORWARD THIS BLOG TO ALL YOUR FAMILIES, FANS, FRIENDS AND FOES OR YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK FOR THIRTY-FIVE GENERATIONS AND EVERY TIME YOU WAKE UP FROM SLEEP THERE WILL BE A BIG BIRD WAITING ABOVE YOU AND TAKES A DUMP IN YOUR MOUTH!!! 


Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Room


In every old and new large building where there are plentiful number of rooms constructed within, there shall be one room that has to be kept empty at all time and never to be occupied at all costs. 

I am pretty sure that many of you have heard of such thing. 

In Malaysia, the practice of leaving one room vacant at all time in large buildings with many rooms is understood to be quite acceptable though there is not at all of at least a clear evidence of such practice has been conducted. 

Well perhaps not openly.

The practice suggests that a building with many rooms; hotels, flats, apartments, condominiums and the likes have to at least have one room empty and never to be occupied as to accommodate the unseen. The unseen here refers to all types of paranormal beings, where it is believed that when one room is designated to accommodate them, they will leave the entire human population in every other room in peace and by any means lessening the chances for both parties to bump into each other to a degree where the occurrence is almost impossible. 

The question is, how true is this?

Well there are accounts of real people who have came across such rooms either by accident or intentionally from all over the world. One of these accounts referred to one of the hotels in Genting Highlands where certain vacant rooms of the hotel are not available for rent no matter how full the hotel is. Although are kept locked at all time, there were people who happened to take a look into the rooms, to which their feedbacks speak of numerous amounts of old Chinese ghost wards and the all soon to fall sick following the observations. 



Don't go in there.


When I was young I once sat with my father and his friend who was at the time a hotelier, all the three of us were having an evening tea session at a food outlet somewhere around my house area. I did not get involved in the conversation but from their discussions I could catch that that friend of my father confirmed that he did leave a room vacant at all time but never to be able for rent and to be accommodated at all time, where according to him the room was allocated for the unrested spirits that roamed the place so that these spirits won't haunt the whole building. 

And from some accounts in courtesy of my friends, I have heard about the existences of these empty rooms at a lot of places; for instance one level at the Petronas Towers being left empty, empty unavailable rooms/units at apartments/condos where they live at, as well as strange, freaky-looking rooms at hotels where they used to stay where they claimed there were noises coming from at night, only to realize the next day that the rooms were empty the whole time. 

I am not sure how true the stories are, but it is wise to include here that I have heard of such things to happen in the campus where I live as well when I was an undergraduate. There are a few rooms at certain residential villages where the rooms were left empty, sometimes the whole block too. I have seen some of these rooms, and I would say that despite the rooms were left empty, one could easily sense that there were lively activities going inside them, though in their eyes there was nothing but just normal, empty rooms.

So be careful the next time you stay at a hotel. Most hotel workers know about this, so discreetly ask for a room that is nowhere around the forever-empty rooms. Though there are too irresponsible hoteliers that for the sake of money, they said, allow incoming guests to stay at the long-vacant rooms, usually the responsible ones will understand you and will proceed with helping you on the matter. 




Unless, of course, you want to go adventurous about things and decide to stay in that supposed-to-be-empty room instead. 


p/s: Ever discover the real truth about where you are staying now, or at least bother to ponder about it? You better.



Inception, The Alpha Wave Style.


Hello.

Have you already watched the movie 'Inception'? A literally good movie it is. I went and watched it twice just so that I fully understand the whole concept about human mind. Not at all a very favorite subject to be occasionally discussed, the work in dreams and thoughts are usually pulled out from common conversation topics, hence making the full understanding into them to be relatively lacking to other general fields of knowledge. Inspired by the whole idea-planting concept, I remembered this one thing that I once studied with a close friend of mine back when I was in the second year in this engineering school. It is more or less like the activity promoted by the movie 'Inception', but this one requires one to be awake in order to practice it.

So, ready to listen to the whole idea? Great. So get some cookies, make some drinks and sit back and relax while I take you to this wonderfully interesting thing about human mind that most people do not really pick up. By this line I assume that you have already made yourselves comfortable, so lets proceed to the next paragraph.

Have you ever thought about somebody and suddenly they gave you a call saying that they called because they were suddenly thinking of you? And have you ever so suddenly called people because you happened to be thinking about them, to their reply was, "strange, I was just thinking about you," and the likes? Have you had those experiences?

Strange, isn't it?

Human brain emits a number of waves - Alpha, Beta, Theta, Gamma and Delta. When awake, most human emit Beta wave; the normal brain wave that indicates alertness often associated with conscious activities motivated by self-thinking, exactly like what is going on in your minds right now when you are reading this.




Delta wave is mostly observed in infants in wake state and also takes place when an adult is deep asleep, where unconscious mind steps in to take over the body over that sleeping time, also known as the Delta state but can also exist during conscious state when an adult is in delirium though is very uncommon to normally occur except in schizophrenics. Theta brain wave can be seen in light sleep and drowsiness (early stage of sleep) where later Delta wave takes place in the deepest state of sleep (last stage of sleep).

Gamma wave however, according to Vanderwolf, CH:

"Whether or not Gamma wave activity is related to subjective awareness is a very difficult question which cannot be answered with certainty at the present time."

But what I am going to introduce to you is Alpha wave - a type of brain wave that is emitted when a person is relaxed but aware, and also plays quite a role when one is dreaming. When awake, this type of brain wave can only be achieved from relaxation rituals like meditation and the likes. The more relaxed you are, the higher the amount of your Alpha wave is generated and the more focused and sharp you become. And it is wise to also note that the Alpha wave is at peak when your eyes are closed along your meditation ritual, but as the time goes you might be able to achieve Alpha state with your eyes open.

Meditation creates a mental state where all distractions are blocked out, and the mind is elevated to an Alpha brain state. Normally an Alpha state is associated with higher thinking, spiritual epiphany, and sudden 'Eureka' moments. Without the distractions of outside influence and thought, these Alpha states create the perfect environment for you to train your mind to do a lot of things.

Seriously, a lot of unexplained things.

One of the things, as to relate to 'Inception', is the ability to plant or revive memories of you in somebody's head using just this Alpha wave. Often known as telepathic ability, this concept is widely known in the world of metaphysical and paranormal things and is practiced worldwide till today.


Lets date, lets date, lets date lets date lets date lets date damnit say something!


The idea behind it is simple. Let's just say you want someone to think about you, all you need to do is to get to Alpha state and start sending 'calls' through your brain that are addressed specifically to that particular person only. These calls will then be decoded as sudden remembrance of you in the recipient's head, that leads the person to find out about you. Sounds simple? The idea is, but the way to do it is not.

In order to perform this thing, one has to be at a very relaxed state, that soon allows you to generate mainly Alpha wave and letting you to enter the Alpha state. The people who have this kind of strong, uninterruptible ability to generate and maintain Alpha state are devoted religious figures; imams, monks, priests and Yamabushis - those who practice meditation daily through prayers and the likes in such solitary moments that their minds float from the rigid reality. And to achieve that, we as commoners in such field may have to go through months of practice, if not years.


Pick up the phone already, goddamnit. It's bloody hot here!


Since my friend and I were quite interested with this concept, though many have defied the beliefs into these kinds of paranormal shits, we did perform it to at least two people. We obtained ourselves some old, forgotten manuscripts from some undisclosed sources that guided each of us step-by-step into entering the Alpha state, and we tried it for a week until we agreed to test it out to see if it really works. We randomly chose two people (he did, I didn't) and started sending messages to them for a week. The results? He got the reply pretty quickly - three days after, the person he 'called' approached him through a phone call, saying that she was thinking of him for no reasons at all, leading her to give him a call and said hi.

Now I on the other hand, I was not the fortunate one though I was being very positive about getting a reply soon and it was only a matter of time until it will happen. But days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, and before I knew it I gave up waiting for the reply to ever come. I considered the effort was a total failure. I gave up the idea and abandoned the whole study.

Until it happened.

Believe it or not, after a year or so since I did the test, she popped in my Friendster and dropped me a message saying that she once had this thoughts about me for a week or so sometime in the past but since she was in a relationship and that her boyfriend was acting husband all along, she couldn't really contact me. But since at the time she contacted me she was already single, she decided to drop me a message and let me know about it since to her the experience was very strange. I did not open up anything about what I did and the secret is kept safely until today, along with the books and scripts that I still possess, somewhat.



And that was how I know that that telepathic shits, ladies and gentlemen, are no shits at all.


p/s: my advice, careful with being in Alpha state other than for relaxation. It is pretty weird state right there, really, and it really consumes a lot of energy from just getting into it, let alone experimenting with your waves once you're in.

And don't do it just for fun. Bear in mind that you could affect someone mentally and emotionally with these things, so you might want to note that if it is not necessary, don't do it.



Friday, July 23, 2010

Sing to Me, Jacksparrow!


I can't really sing. 

Somewhat, despite the fact that I once played tenor for quite some time when I was in my primary school choir team, I cannot seem to sing nicely when I grew up from there. I can no longer reach the pitch level or even sustain a falsetto, and therefore I consider myself as one bad singer. 

I just can't push my voice out; it seems to be blocked somewhere along my tracheal tract. Strange, actually, since I used to have so much voice - I was in the choir team for 2 years and I was one of the platoon commanders in the uniformed organizations back in school where it was very easy to see me standing alone in front of the others while screaming my balls off as to give out commands to move them in military formations.

There was one time where I was forced to scream in a pail of water where my whole face was below the water line in order to enhance my 'shouting' ability by the regiment officer so that I could give out commands better. 

But since I left high school, I seem to lose my ability to manipulate my voice to sing nicely. I can sing, of course, but I won't be singing in a manner that is anyway pleasant to hear. Last time I sang publicly, I think I have had a few birds died from being stunned in flight and fell to their agonizing deaths on the ground. Probably a few from the audience had their heart skipped a few beats, and some could still be experiencing the trauma from the terrorizing sight. 




"Damnit who gave Jack that mic?!"


There was a time when a few of my friends pulled me out of my room and dragged me all the way to a local karaoke place and started forcing me to sing, from which I convincingly resisted and all. But let's just say they mistakenly, probably the mistake they will remember forever, chose a song that happened to be my personal favorite at the time. And so I grabbed the microphone and started singing, and God damn I gave them the full 3.45 minutes full and rich with terror that all of them ended up so stunned that they went slightly mentally-challenged for a few days following that incident. 



Thank God they recovered. 


Point is, I can't sing pleasantly, and I still think that I do not sing pleasantly. Though I occasionally sing to some of my close friends at times when I am needed to add an unnatural element to the common settings to that things spice up a bit, I mostly resist to sing when offered to. But this does not hold me back from singing to myself at times. I love singing - it is smoothing and relaxing, especially when the guitar is with me where I can pluck on some tunes and start humming at least right away though nobody listens at all, though nobody really cares. 

That way, I can always brighten up my day :)


And it finally gave up on me.



Thursday, July 22, 2010

So They Said Speed Kills




So alright, here's a common misconception about accidents.


Have you ever came across a billboard, if not one too many, on the road that says speeding kills? I'd say it is totally wrong, because if it does I guess you'd be looking at a dead man's blog at this instant. I do speed sometimes when I have the chance to, and when I am completely sure about what I will have to expect and to do in case something happens anytime soon when I do. Otherwise, I'll be a good boy.

Back to the misconception.

Speeding does not kill. Accident does. You can move and increase your speed gradually until you reach the speed of light and nothing will happen to you, other than seeing yourself slowly becoming a thin section of a 2-D plane rather than the usual 3D representation. This may be entertaining to those who are looking forward to lose weight but might be very disturbing to those, especially stunningly-hot ladies who intend to keep their figures at best, for no bumps whatsoever could be observed at 2D plane. But of course that is not the issue. The issue is that when you speed, nothing bad really happens to you. 

Unless your speeding is disturbed abruptly. 

Now this is where you get screwed. When you are speeding and then you are forced to stop as immediately, best in an impact or a series of it, a lot of things, mostly bad, will happen to you. But as to summarize the things that mostly will occur to you during and after an impact, I'd say the experience is very, very painful, like God damnit that hurts to freaking bad that I wish I could slap somebody and give exactly the same amount of pain and then look at their faces, if not fatal.

So here, it is not the speeding part that precisely is going to kill you, but the accident. 




Now let's go to another misconception.

People always thought that by increasing the performance of their breaking system, and this can be initially achieved by changing the tires to better-gripping types, change the brake pads and the efficiency of the braking mechanisms, add some mechatronic systems whatsoever, but these all would not guarantee that your vehicle will stop in time. 

Why? Because that fat Newton's idea that's why.

Every moving bodies have inertia in them. Imagine when you are currently driving at a constant speed and suddenly you slam on the break, don't you feel that yourself is thrown forward? The same thing happens when you are at rest and suddenly you slam on the gas; you'd feel yourself to be pushed backward and into your seat. Now that's inertia - the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion.

Now your braking system could be the best in the world, that your hydraulic system is able to sense the change at your brake pedal as you press on it, causing the sensor to give instant feeds to your brake pads, that happen to grip your brake discs at a hundred percent efficiency where your tires stop moving at a blink of an eye and hence *supposedly* your vehicle will immediately stop moving. But I guarantee that that won't happen, because even when the braking system does the work - stopping your tires from moving, that is - it does not guarantee that the vehicle will stop moving as well, for there is always inertia projected from the vehicle itself, causing it to be thrown forward in the events of screeching, slipping and the likes and slam into whatever that you wanted to avoid in the first place.

So what we can learn from this post is that:


1. Speed does not kill, accident does;
2. Your vehicle still can slip even when your braking system is Godlike
3. When you end up in an impact while driving, you're either going to be hurt physically or mentally, or die. 
4. Speed wisely.
5. Newton was not fat. Hell I don't even know how he looked like. How could you believed me?


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Not Anymore


"I don't wanna be lonely no more,
I don't wanna have to pay for this,
I don't wanna know the lover at my door,
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more,
But you know I could never stand for this,
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,
I don't wanna be lonely anymore."

* * *

The time is almost up. Welcome to my life, sayang. Sorry that you have to wait this long. You will need to wait no more, for you will not be lonely anymore.

xoxo






How My Physics Students Made My Day


This semester I am teaching Physics tutorial, from which I will entertain quite a large number of fresh and young post-high school students, covering all the needed knowledge in statics and dynamics kinematic analysis, force, work, energy, heat and fundamental dynamics of fluids. One of the day where I will be teaching is Wednesday from 12.00pm to 2.00pm.

And so I went to teach this afternoon just now with a rather happy mind.

I arrived at the block at precisely 12.13pm as according to my wristwatch, which is precisely 13 minutes early, from which we can conclude here that I arrived on time. After playing around in the laboratory next door with what appeared to be either a rather curiously-looking electronic weighing machine with exceptionally entertaining LCD display or a complete rubbish of 21st century invention, I made my way to my tutorial room, from which in mind I knew there were at least 50 of them already waiting for me in there.

And I was almost right. From the window I could estimate that my estimate was in range with positive add-value, which means here there are more than 50 of them in the tutorial room, waiting for me.

And as I entered the room by pushing the door, almost all fifty of them raised to their feet and started clapping their hands and cheering with voices so loud the glass walls were rattling. Completely amazed with what was going on, I proceeded to walk to where a tutor is expected to sit - the front table - and the cheering and clapping continued.

These included the girls too.

And then a few of the male students came forward to the amazed me and shook my hands with smiles so wide that both ends of it could meet one another at the back of their heads. And then only I started to remember.

Precisely 2 weeks ago before these people left home for a week holiday, from which no academic activity was at all held for a week, I told them that Germany will be in the World Cup final match. Some were with me and some were not, and the ones who were not came up with a bet - if Germany wins over Netherlands, they will walk naked back to residential homes from the Physics lab, and if the otherwise happens I will have to cancel all the remaining tutorials until the end of the semester. 

The environment inside the tutorial room was so intense that the cheering and the clapping went on for minutes. The situation slowed down as they gave way for me to give my speech out; I could see in their eyes how hoping they were to have all the remaining tutorials canceled. 

As I looked at them all cute students, I said, "hahaha you wish!" from which all of them burst into big laughters. And then we proceeded to the tutorials anyway. 

But what happened to me today made me feel that how happy it is to know that these students made my whole day bright. It lifted my spirits to continue for the rest of the day with a happy heart, and much to my enjoyment I am happy to note that there was literally almost no gap at all in between me and them, and that is what making the class cheerful, relax and entertaining all these while and for the times to come. And I intend to keep it that way. Learning should be fun and not stressful like we usually go through. 

They definitely made my day. Thanks, you little rascals! 



p/s: I have another session tomorrow at 8.00am. God knows what awaits. Surprise me! =D


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Links

So listen up, cute people of the earth.

Provided that you have already observed the change in my blog template, you probably have noticed that I have lost the whole list of blog that links to mine.

Therefore, I ask for your cooperations to leave a comment below with your blog links so that I can construct again a list of blogs that link to mine. I will not publish the comments so don't worry about it.

So, carry on, make my day.


"Your link, or your life."


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Oh Jack


I am bored.

My days recently, well not really recently but since some time, had been very boring. I no longer get the ecstatic feeling from the Rush - the sort of excitement I usually get from, well, arguing. 

Back in the days there were so many people around me who were very good at pointing things out and at debating. There were so many platforms where we used to sit down as a group and bashed one another in terms of factual arguments. Often I saw myself stuck in between arguments with them, many times the heated ones, struggling for a way out from the whole commotions. But deep inside I felt it; I felt the adrenaline rush, I have had my veins popping on my forehead, I have gone through endless nights of research just so that I am prepared to bash them again the next sessions, and I have raised my voice and slammed the table (like the rests did too) just to get the points across.

I don't call us intellects but just people with curiosities that need to be satisfied. 

A few fellows and I usually sat down at the local food outlets, a variety of choice to choose from, ordered ourselves cups of tea and coffee, and opened up on a topic to discuss. The topics varied but not at all academics; from heavy topics like local political scenes, international issues, religion, life, love, technology, economics, stocks trading, social sciences, history et cetera, all the way down to nonsensical craps like 'what exactly Coke tastes like' and 'what is cute' and the likes.

There was this time when we were discussing about poultry chicken that one of us broke down and cried. The girl (yes there were girls too) could not take it anymore that she sobbed for her mom, and we all had to calm her down. "Shut the fuck up, Eddy," we said when the guy still wanted to argue on the matter. 

Eddy was this political science student back then; a fat, short but nevertheless cute to us who just didn't know when the exact time to just zip it. There was this time when we were all scolded by the next table for being too loud (we were) and we did apologize to the people at the next table but Eddy went off to challenging them to join in instead, and that was how we first had girls in our group, causing one or two to cry off during heated arguments like the one above. And there was also when her cat died that Eddy said he wanted to eat the poor thing up, for he was hungry, causing the girl to hysterically cry to no end. Thanks Eddy, you bastard.

And then there was Jijo who couldn't really keep his temper when provoked. He occasionally lost it over arguments that didn't get to be on his side, and we could literally see his face turned red (he's a pretty fair-skinned guy) while he bit his lips. Minutes after he would be sweating like a working-out hippo, and push him just a little bit more and the table will fly. And when that happens (it did, once, but it wasn't the table that flew but his Nokia 3310 mobile phone all the way to Eddy), Nana the girl will start crying and Ain will be comforting her while we calmed Jijo down. 

There was too this time when Ziman, a religious scholar but not at all looked like one (he had this shoulder-length hair and he wore a Bermuda everywhere) who happened to be the calmest among us all stood up and pointed hs finger to Jijo over a steaming argument and told him to go home and feed on breast milk and come back for discussion again afterwards. This caused Jijo to redden up, Nana to cry and Ain being the diplomat, while me, Razak and Eddy sat down together, smoked and laughed at the drama. 

But we had fun. We really did. Even though the arguments sometime went off limits that all of us went back in raging anger and dissatisfaction, we never did break up. Sure, it took one or two days before all of us calmed down and decided to meet again and start over, but we really did stick together. We grew older from discussing wide variety of things, we grew older from being booed and insulted in the faces, we grew older from the series of cryings and we grew older from having integrity and determination in things we discussed about. 

Imagine, there are seven of them individuals who go against you when they don't agree at all with your facts. They challenged you up for proofs and theories, they ridicule your facts, they keep on disagreeing and they give you faces - what would you do? How do you defend the facts you are holding on? How do you face the attacks? How do you play your cards right? Do you go with dictatorship, or do you go diplomatic? Now these are the things we learned from one another back then from nasty arguments. But as the rules go, there are days when you get lucky to be the mastermind, and there are days when you get fucked upside down, left and right, in and out.

But that was how we broaden our minds to new things. In return we learned about integrity, self-respect, bravery, courage and communication skills. I am not at all boasting here, but we did. From those days, each of us went all the way and around the world. Romance sparked in between Eddy and Nana (ironically, for it was always Eddy who made her sob for her mother) and they ended up marrying each other. Ziman migrated to oversea to further his study while Jijoe is now a PTD in the government, along with Ain who now paving her ways to becoming one of the most important figure in youth's political movement. Razak went on to work as a continental car maintenance expert and later opened an agriculture business, making money by the minutes.

I miss those guys. And I miss those moments. I need to work my brain out. I need to have the storms again in my head. I need to sharpen my mind once again. But other than the Mutton Curry gang, there is hardly nobody who is willing to sit down and argue on stuffs like we usually do. Sometimes, you have got to stand up and speak up to make your points travel anywhere you want and not by sitting down talking behind the crowd expecting your pieces to somewhat pop in the front line's minds. There is no need to be afraid at all, even when the person you need to face is far more superior than you are.

But of course, talking behind someone's back is easier and cause less trouble, so why not just do it. Plus, if one doesn't care about his self value, not being shameful at all by to only be able rat behind but never face to face, why should others, no? 



Oh Jack, you sarcastic son of a man!


Saturday, July 17, 2010

Monster: The Apprentice


I have three best male friends.

None of them are Malay.

Therefore it occurred to me sometime in the past, precisely a year back, that I finally decided to find a somewhat Malay best friend from which I can keep as a close companion for many years to come. And so the searching mission begun; I started with a large set of random samples and go through them one by one with careful observations by means of behavioral matrices and matching fits, cutting one off after another, only to see that I ended up with only two persons I thought were purely Malay but, God bless me, both of them are not.

One is a guy from which I have known for quite some time; with Chinese-Malay blood, he has been a fairly good friend of mine for long. Well at least he has a bit of Malay in him. But what startled me was that, the second person from which I have mistakenly took as a Malay, was actually not even close to being one, at least in his bloodline. But instead of making him just a close friend, he further requested to become something else.

He wants to learn about all that I have already knew.

A pure Pakistani-breed, he has since became my most favorite object of apprenticeship from which I slowly shape into what appears to be another me, only perhaps a better version of. Why so is simple - he does not go through what I went through in the past, perhaps not yet, that somewhat made me into something that one can easily relate me to that a jar full of pickled cucumber. What I see in him suggests me that this guy, if properly nurtured, will one day turn out to be the most fearful, not by rage nor by absolute man-made terror, but strictly by being himself alone.

He is the one with such thinking method that is so analytical that he proves to see beyond the limits of a typical human's. His curiosity about the universe, life and everything else is so spectacular that somewhat I see myself in him each time both of us communicate, although most of the time I have grown to be somewhat critically bitter to him just to see whether he will back off from the scare-tactics I put on, only to see that he did not even deflect from them where most of the others have gone away sobbing to their moms and friends, telling them what kind of a demon I am.

To date I have suppressed him to a point that he could take almost any shit from the surrounding people with just a smile - the type of smile where one could easily tell that he is indeed up to something.

Though personally speaking I am quite afraid of what may become of him soon - his intelligence grows by the second and his slick and smart personality get well-crafted at each move, but nevertheless I teach him either way. He is definitely different than the usual others - those whom you can tell what sort of persons they are by just a single glance, or in other word, predictable. He is nowhere in that specific. He is the type of person that can talk to you in a completely wonderful manner and turns into a beast in just a turn of a cheek. It is this thing he has; an inner dark power that even I could not fully understand, let alone anybody else.

It seems that he has too gone through a series of unfortunate events that in return changed him into what he is - charmingly bitter, superbly competent and in a very strange manner, fierce like an injured lion.

It is a good thing that, somewhat, he has problem in maintaining the consistency of his confidence and he has this sheer effort to keeping his anger in a hidden side of his heart, or otherwise he has already gone out of control by now, guided by methods to madness. Against all odds he has his wit leaking by the minutes with slight taste of sarcasm even in his compliments. Over the months he has already gotten it through - the art of charm and wordplay, where most of his intended meanings are concealed beyond his surfacing words. Most people will only understand the surface, while it takes a lot more to understand the underneath.

Simply, he can insult you in a compliment.

As to conclude, I'd say that my search for an able offspring did me many returns, but only a couple or so were the greatest of all, and one of them is him; the apprentice. And I believe with proper inductions and nursery sessions, he will indeed become what I'd expected him to.



A monster.


Pronounced: Dead


Mom called me last night to ask about how I have been doing, about her trip to Kuala Kangsar today and also to update me about the current political scenes in the movement we both are in. Then she passed the phone to my dad who gave an entire update about his doings so far, including his recent development of a piece of land he was working on with his agricultural projects (and dragged mom along with him), a recent car-breakdown from which he requested my views into and then about my brother who apparently is now furthering his bachelor degree study in biotechnology somewhere in Malacca. For the whole hour we talked on the phone until when my mom made a face, according to dad, where he passed the phone back to my mom.

"Hiro died this evening," she said. 

A bit stunned from the breaking news, I stood in silent before I was able to speak again. 

"Occay," I said, a little awkward at the moment, really. "See, I've got to go, so.."

Seeming to understand her son pretty well, mom said, "alright," and proceeded to remind me about their loves for me before hanging up. I let a sigh out and away.

Finally, he ended his life, that little old furball. How long has it been, say, almost a year since his partner, Fifi, died? Yes, minus a couple or more days, the good old hamster had been living his life alone in the cage for almost a year now. 

Come to think of it, it has also been almost a year since I went single, from which two days after I did, Fifi died out of no apparent reason at all. A very strange occurrence, that was. And now, precisely more or less a year after, Hiro left the world after surviving alone the whole time since Fifi did. 

I love them both like my own children, though I do not specifically have any idea how it feels to actually have children. Nevertheless, my love to them is never-ending, and it shall still grow even though both of them are no longer in sights. Here is to both Hiro and Fifi - HiFi - cheers to the both of you, my dear darlings. 

And may both of you stay happy together.


* * *

"It could be a sign, Jack," said a buddy of mine as he tapped the ash off his cigar. We were having cigar after dinner last night by the grand lake while enjoying the night's breeze and the beautiful night's sky. 

I took a puff from the smoldering fermented tobacco roll. "What sort of?"

He took a puff and let out the thick smoke. "Hiro found his peace after a year." 

He took a deep, meaningful look at me for quite some time before continuing his speech.



"Maybe it is time to find yours too."



Photobombing Me


Aku masuk suratkhabar.

Ahahahaha :D


* * *

Aku tak tahu menahu langsung. Kalau bukan ada yang beritahu, sampai sekarang pun aku tak tahu.


Keratan Kosmo! 6 Julai 2010


Gambar dari Kosmo! Online. Source


There I was, standing at the front part of the locomotive's boiler while doing visual inspections on the boiler unit and the wheel rods that had emitted smokes from friction-sourced heat. This picture was taken at Tampin Station where the train set had to stop to give way to an incoming South-bound express.

Waahh I'm so happy :D Thanks Kosmo! and thanks Railwayfans for the inviting me for the trip!


Friday, July 16, 2010

Faint Giggles

That day was just like any other days.

Like any other days.

But very little did I know that things were about to change so shortly in time.

There I was at one of the academic block I frequently visited in the name of Farah research and development of my current study, standing at the front of the huge vertical door made from heavy glass and metal while my eyes wandered around. I just arrived from my room that late afternoon, and all I had in mind was to process some of the biomass feedstock for combustion test scheduled a few days in the future. With a powerful electric cutting tool and carbide circular sawblade in one of my hand, I pushed the green button next to the door and almost as instantly the grand, heavy door started to lift, inches from my nose.

The weather was rather cloudy that particular day, and from the look of it there was a brewing storm coming my way. With limited time, I intended to process at least 50kg worth of biomass feedstock, and with an incoming storm, my hours were cut into strictly shorter period of time. 

So I put on my leather gloves, put on the ventilator mask, crystal-glass eye-goggle, broad face shield and a protective thick jacket and got to work as immediately as possible. I had to cut all the fronds outside since the work was pretty messy to even begin with - a lot of sawdust, airborne particles and strange odor of rotting organics. I turned on the electric saw and cut the fronds one by one - from 3 meter length to only 1 cubic inch  sections. From the tail of my eyes I could see the storm brewing on top of my head - thick, dark clouds began to form and the wind blew stronger.

I stopped an hour after that when the first few drops of water started to wet the surface of the open field where I was working. Still covered in dusts, sweats and some blood from a few cuts I received from the sharp frond parts, I unplugged all electric plugs and rewind all power cords before proceeding to store them along with the saw in the laboratory from which I have to go through the grand door.

When I was carrying them all, something metal dropped on the floor a few feet away from the door, creating a clinking sound as it hit the ceramic tiles. With all my hands full, I could not take a look at it so I decided to only collect it afterward. 

As I entered the laboratory area, the cold breeze from the air-condition swept onto my sweaty face. I stored all those equipments in a designated cupboard, including all my protective gears before I went back to the grand, heavy glass-metal door to close down the laboratory. As the door slowly moved down, the rain outside was getting heavier. The door completely shut after a few seconds, so I went around to head to the sink to wash my hands, and that was exactly when I felt there was something terribly wrong happening.

First, there was nobody around. It's normal, anyway, because the undergraduates were all having their holidays and the time was already past 5.30pm, which means all staffs had left the premise. Strange thing was, I did not see any guard too, whom usually will walk pass my workplace as a routine manner. That day, the last of them I saw was two hours back and nobody since. 

Secondly, one thing about my air-conditioned laboratory is that, it is large. It's ceiling reaches two floors height while the space it contains, other than those parts filled with large instruments and equipments are all empty. With the rain pouring outside, the inside of it looked very dim, dark, dead. All I could hear was rattling ventilation ducts and heavy rain outside, more or less were very eerie to me. 

Suddenly I heard something, might be a spanner, fell and hit the floor. The clinking sound it made roared and shocked me so badly that I was stunned for a while, only to have realized that the spanner fell from my jeans (I always carry it around at work). As I bent over to pick it up, I heard a very faint but somewhat very clear voice of a girl.

She was giggling. 

At this point, I think one of my balls have dropped onto the floor and went missing. In my mind was nothing but to get the fuck out of the laboratory. So with all the strength I have left and all the hair on my arms and neck standing, I walked out the laboratory through a smaller exit door. I headed to my car but somewhat on the way there my right foot kicked something on the floor - a smaller spanner that dropped while I was carrying the stuffs earlier - causing it to slide a few feet away. So in that rush I bent over to pick it up too.

And that was the mistake I swear I will never forget. 

As I pulled back, I had hunches telling me to look up. And there it was - the strangest, the most frightening, shocking and horrifying thing I ever saw - at the second floor above me.

Imagine this: A lady the height more than the whole floor itself, where her head had touched the ceiling and that she had to bend forward a bit behind her large, awkward shoulder; no arms at all but covered in a huge and loose white robe with no opening; her face hidden behind her long messy hair that went all the way to the floor; and she was hovering in a static manner almost a foot above the ground. And the distance between me and her was only fifteen to twenty feet away - 3 to 5 meters more or less, where I was on the ground but she was at a floor above. She just stayed there, static, and me too, static.

I was so stunned that I could not move, though my brain kept telling me to. Reading any citation from the holy verses was completely out of question - my mind was so mixed up that I could have ended up citing a quadratic equation instead. My face felt so tight, and I could imagine just how pale I became. It lasted for almost a minute until she slowly disappeared into thin air, and in my ears I could hear those giggles again, only this time it gradually rang into high-pitched, scary long laughs.

I got into the car, pressed on the gas and left to my room shaken, unable to sleep until the morning came. 

* * *

It became apparent that the sighting I had a few days ago had gone worst. A day after I had it, a guard told me he saw her at the top of the building at 2.00am in the morning. And then out of any reason, the postgraduate students who usually spent their times until 3.00 to 4.00am in the morning all left the building by 9.00pm, believed to have gone through the same experience. A few sightings of fireballs flying around the blocks and then all the way up to the hill next to them have been reported. 

Latest was yesterday. Apparently there was a postgraduate student who worked until 7.30pm in the evening to finish up his works in the laboratory without realizing that rain started to slowly shower the earth at the outside. While doing his work alone, he heard a number of males having discussion next door loudly, but when he went and check, there was nobody. And when he decided to leave, as he left the laboratory space, that faint giggles were heard again from behind him.

How I know about this latest thing?  Of course I do. 





The guy was me.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Menteri Bakar

Harga minyak katanya naik lagi.

Semua orang bising. Semua maki hamun kerajaan. Semua kata, "Ah! Kerajaan makan duit rakyat."

"Ah! Kerajaan penipu besar."

"Ah! Kerajaan kasi pening sama rakyat."

"Ah! Kerajaan tak guna."

Di Twitter, Facebook segala semua maki hamun apa segala. Masing-masing mau jadi menteri; mau jadi Finance Minister, Menteri Dalam Negeri, Menteri Air, Tenaga dan Komunikasi, Menteri Sumber Asli dan Alam Sekitar dan tidak juga yang menjadi Perdana Menteri tidak rasmi. Mana yang berpengetahuan lebih sedikit tiba-tiba jadi production engineer, manager Dagangan, pemerhati politik semasa, ahli politik (walaupun tidak berdaftar SPR, belum pernah mengundi dan juga belum habis Form 3) dan penasihat kewangan.

Orang parti pembangkang pun seronok-lah. Ada modal.

(At least cerita curi pasir tempoh hari terlindung sekejap, bukan?)

Bila minyak naik harga, semua kata nanti duit banyak habis dekat minyak saja. Dah tak boleh buat saving tiap-tiap bulan. "Betul..!!" kata yang menyokong. Jadi bertanyalah sesetengah orang yang lain, kerana pelik, kepada mereka, "macam mana boleh duit boleh habis pada minyak? Kau orang guna kenderaan ke mana saja pun?"


Jawab mereka;

"Eh! Nanti mau shopping beg mahal-mahal di Pavilion dan baju classy di Sunway Pyramid, bukan kena drive?"

"Eh! Nanti bila dah ada beg mahal dan baju classy nak pergi clubbing malam-malam, bukan kena drive?"

"Eh! Nanti mau melancong ke New York, London dan Tokyo untuk shopping sakan, bila nak ke airport tak kena drive?"

"Eh! Nanti nak ke restoran makan mahal-mahal; McD, Tony Romas, Kenny Rogers apa semua, tak kena drive?"

"Eh! Nanti nak pergi ke kedai kereta beli Mercedes S-Class yang tak muat di parking rumah tu, tak kena drive?"

Yang seronoknya, yang paling bising sekali adalah orang-orang yang kebanyakannya banyak berbelanja pada benda bukan-bukan.

"Benda bukan-bukan kau kata? Hey! Kami orang muda. Mau enjoy. Mau merasa hidup mewah walau gaji adalah dalam saiz ibu jari kaki. Kami mau pakai yang mahal-mahal sebab itu semua satisfaction kami! Satisfaction kami adalah lagi penting! Apa kau tau?!" balas mereka dengan nada marah. "Fasal itulah minyak tidak boleh naik harga!"

Tapi kan, kau taukah macam mana susah dan mahal nak buat minyak yang kau senang-senang boleh pergi ke stesen minyak, bayar di kaunter, angkat tolak masuk picit (tolak sudah tidak ada sebenarnya) lantas menyemburkan minyak ke dalam lohong perut kereta kau seperti selalu?

"Ah! Itu aku tak dan takkan pernah peduli. Peduli apa sama exploration, production, distillation apa kejadah. Peduli apa sama engineer, mat rigger, supervisor, mat welder apa semua. Yang aku tau minyak tak perlu naik so that gaji kecil aku dapat support hidup aku sampai bila-bila. Kerajaan bodoh, kerajaan bangsat, kerajaan celaka. Kalau aku-lah dia punya menteri, takkan pernah jadi benda macam ni."

Oh ya kan. Kalau-lah kau menteri. Tapi, dari dulu sampai sekarang, apa pasal kau masih tak jadi menteri? bahkan masih di takuk sama lagi, naik pangkat jauh sekali, jangankan sebut pasal naik gaji, lepak di luar sampai ke awal pagi, esok kerja malas pergi so ambil MC, di tempat kerja kau goyang kaki, hujung bulan kerja melambak kau maki-maki, bila prestasi datang kau terus kerut dahi, "Bos kedekut, makan taik gigi" kau cerca sepenuh hati, bila gaji tak naik tapi barang naik kau salahkan kerajaan, "kerajaan sial, tenuk, barua, macam setan", seronok betul kau salahkan kiri kanan, atas bawah depan belakang pun kau sialkan, tapi macam itu jugaklah cerita kau dari hari ke hari - salah sendiri tak nampak tapi angan-angan mau jadi menteri.








Diam.


* * *



p/s: kaki bakar pun kena pakai minyak kan? :D