I am bored.
My days recently, well not really recently but since some time, had been very boring. I no longer get the ecstatic feeling from the Rush - the sort of excitement I usually get from, well, arguing.
Back in the days there were so many people around me who were very good at pointing things out and at debating. There were so many platforms where we used to sit down as a group and bashed one another in terms of factual arguments. Often I saw myself stuck in between arguments with them, many times the heated ones, struggling for a way out from the whole commotions. But deep inside I felt it; I felt the adrenaline rush, I have had my veins popping on my forehead, I have gone through endless nights of research just so that I am prepared to bash them again the next sessions, and I have raised my voice and slammed the table (like the rests did too) just to get the points across.
I don't call us intellects but just people with curiosities that need to be satisfied.
A few fellows and I usually sat down at the local food outlets, a variety of choice to choose from, ordered ourselves cups of tea and coffee, and opened up on a topic to discuss. The topics varied but not at all academics; from heavy topics like local political scenes, international issues, religion, life, love, technology, economics, stocks trading, social sciences, history et cetera, all the way down to nonsensical craps like 'what exactly Coke tastes like' and 'what is cute' and the likes.
There was this time when we were discussing about poultry chicken that one of us broke down and cried. The girl (yes there were girls too) could not take it anymore that she sobbed for her mom, and we all had to calm her down. "Shut the fuck up, Eddy," we said when the guy still wanted to argue on the matter.
Eddy was this political science student back then; a fat, short but nevertheless cute to us who just didn't know when the exact time to just zip it. There was this time when we were all scolded by the next table for being too loud (we were) and we did apologize to the people at the next table but Eddy went off to challenging them to join in instead, and that was how we first had girls in our group, causing one or two to cry off during heated arguments like the one above. And there was also when her cat died that Eddy said he wanted to eat the poor thing up, for he was hungry, causing the girl to hysterically cry to no end. Thanks Eddy, you bastard.
And then there was Jijo who couldn't really keep his temper when provoked. He occasionally lost it over arguments that didn't get to be on his side, and we could literally see his face turned red (he's a pretty fair-skinned guy) while he bit his lips. Minutes after he would be sweating like a working-out hippo, and push him just a little bit more and the table will fly. And when that happens (it did, once, but it wasn't the table that flew but his Nokia 3310 mobile phone all the way to Eddy), Nana the girl will start crying and Ain will be comforting her while we calmed Jijo down.
There was too this time when Ziman, a religious scholar but not at all looked like one (he had this shoulder-length hair and he wore a Bermuda everywhere) who happened to be the calmest among us all stood up and pointed hs finger to Jijo over a steaming argument and told him to go home and feed on breast milk and come back for discussion again afterwards. This caused Jijo to redden up, Nana to cry and Ain being the diplomat, while me, Razak and Eddy sat down together, smoked and laughed at the drama.
But we had fun. We really did. Even though the arguments sometime went off limits that all of us went back in raging anger and dissatisfaction, we never did break up. Sure, it took one or two days before all of us calmed down and decided to meet again and start over, but we really did stick together. We grew older from discussing wide variety of things, we grew older from being booed and insulted in the faces, we grew older from the series of cryings and we grew older from having integrity and determination in things we discussed about.
Imagine, there are seven of them individuals who go against you when they don't agree at all with your facts. They challenged you up for proofs and theories, they ridicule your facts, they keep on disagreeing and they give you faces - what would you do? How do you defend the facts you are holding on? How do you face the attacks? How do you play your cards right? Do you go with dictatorship, or do you go diplomatic? Now these are the things we learned from one another back then from nasty arguments. But as the rules go, there are days when you get lucky to be the mastermind, and there are days when you get fucked upside down, left and right, in and out.
But that was how we broaden our minds to new things. In return we learned about integrity, self-respect, bravery, courage and communication skills. I am not at all boasting here, but we did. From those days, each of us went all the way and around the world. Romance sparked in between Eddy and Nana (ironically, for it was always Eddy who made her sob for her mother) and they ended up marrying each other. Ziman migrated to oversea to further his study while Jijoe is now a PTD in the government, along with Ain who now paving her ways to becoming one of the most important figure in youth's political movement. Razak went on to work as a continental car maintenance expert and later opened an agriculture business, making money by the minutes.
I miss those guys. And I miss those moments. I need to work my brain out. I need to have the storms again in my head. I need to sharpen my mind once again. But other than the Mutton Curry gang, there is hardly nobody who is willing to sit down and argue on stuffs like we usually do. Sometimes, you have got to stand up and speak up to make your points travel anywhere you want and not by sitting down talking behind the crowd expecting your pieces to somewhat pop in the front line's minds. There is no need to be afraid at all, even when the person you need to face is far more superior than you are.
But of course, talking behind someone's back is easier and cause less trouble, so why not just do it. Plus, if one doesn't care about his self value, not being shameful at all by to only be able rat behind but never face to face, why should others, no?
Oh Jack, you sarcastic son of a man!