Tuesday, August 03, 2010

4 Common Fashion Blunders We Enjoy to Look At

Let's just accept it.

We all have seen it, we all have witnessed it, we all have thought and pondered about it. Of course, criticizing one's free will in fashion is never in my trait unless it directly affects me (i.e. wearing extra-strong, extra large cheese as a daily outfit and stands next to me more than thirty-six seconds, that is the average time for me to stay dormant before things start to change, my way) but I must say that I have this interest of actually proposing the dynamical explanation of why the heck would anybody do the stuffs listed below, and I hope my curiosity will one day be satisfied.

So lets just shut up now and move on to the list:

Err..ma'am? I'm trying to EAT here.
1. Torn jeans.

I don't get it. Was it supposed to be sexy? Denim cloth is highly-engineered fabric type that is supposed to be relatively strong compared to other types of fabric and can hardly be torn except if you get run over by a ten-ton truck or slashed to meat-patty burgers by that jealous missus of yours with a turbo-charged meat-packer bomber. How do you expect your knees that pop out in between the torn parts can actually be sexy? Or that strands of leg hair that smurfs out like super-gooey alien tentacles waiting to grab a victim, now is that sexy? I'd say no.

Here's some threads. Zip 'em up, Einstein.

It's hammer time for Joey.
2. Popped-up collar.

Fine. It's the Namibian desert, and the sun is blazing fiercely like nobody's business and in order to not getting your neck on fire, you pop up your excitingly colorful shirt's collar up. Perfectly understandable, completely allowable and clearly acceptable. But in an LRT? What, they have artificial suns in the LRT now?

Oh, you pop it up because it says Levis there and you want everyone to notice. Smart.

I'm cool, yaw. Yo ain't gonna top me, ain't no for a million yeah yaw.

3. Shades.

So you've got yourself a fake Chanel shades the size of a car tire to cover your overly-makeup face just so that the tropical sunshine won't melt them 2-inch thick foundation powder down. That makes sense, of course. Plus shades is a good way to, of course, shade and protect your eyes from merciless sun glares we often get in extras these days. But what's with wearing them when you are actually in queue to buy popcorns and Cokes inside a fully sun-proof, fully air-conditioned space at the local cinema? At night? Ah, because your girl says you look good in them.


4. Torn, old shoes.

It's a humanitarian call for Bata.
"I'd like to buy you a pair of new shoes," I'd say to the boy out of pitiness who wore a pair of knickers that were so bad you can literally see a lot of historical events from the splattering on their surfaces, other than one of his bare toe popping out from the torn fabric, until I realized he has two Blackberries in his hands. Well, maybe it was the Blackberries that got him shoe-less.

How very confusing.

* * *

But then again, who am I to judge? Haven't any of you ever saw and judged these magnificent mistakes in couture back in the days, no? Just say yes you mindbogging liars.

1 comment:

Unknown said...