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Mighty Jacksparrow is an Earth-based sub-intergalactic blogger who enjoys writing and in the same time entertaining his ever-amusing will-kill-to-read fans with sensationally hilarious and at times dramatic musings. This blog offers endless ideas and results; they might be charming most of the times but could be offending in some others. Therefore, it is always noble to remind that if you enjoy the pieces, carry on reading, but if they upset you, do quietly leave like the evening breeze and not like exploding diarrhea, which exactly what you will look like if you ever lose it on me. Enjoy! :D

Monday, April 04, 2011

Man 101: Make Him Stay


Good morning, loves.

One dumb fella recently asked another dumb fella who is twice as dumb, that is me, about how to please a loved one. Hmm. Tricky one. Not that I could not come out with anything that I could make out of nothing at all just for the sake of providing the answer he needed; I was just being dumbfounded myself. I'm twice as dumb, remember?

So they said that,

Admire your man and you will earn his love; appreciate your woman and you will earn hers.

Albeit it sounds as easy, it is not. To admire and to appreciate are just words that describe humanly behavior towards something of interests, but how exactly both actions are done might require a little bit of explanation. 

Since this very same question might have popped out in all of your beautiful minds whether or not caused by the statement of inquiry proposed to me by the dumb fella above, I might just follow through and carry out the explanation part of how exactly one can please one's loved one. And since that more than two-third majority - the same quantity of seats required to determine which party becomes the country's ruling government  - of the readers of this blog are women, I have decided to only explain on how to please a man than to elaborate on pleasing both man and women. This is fairly justified by the fact that women these days might have lost the diva touch when it comes to handling men, therefore the needs for me to assist in providing the solutions for you hopeless females to think and act appropriately.

So how does a woman pleases her man?


* * *


Men are interesting creatures. 

Men normally have the superior ability when compared to women in many aspects. They can perform physically and mentally better. They have a sense of competitions and dare to take even the most impossible challenges. But as often as they go, they appear to be useless when it comes to certain things, for example folding clothes and taking care of babies. 

That is why we have women.

In order for balance to take place, men and women find themselves in pair so that each can take care of the other one's errands that he or she cannot carry out properly for themselves. Although many claim that they can take care of themselves well henceforth the needs to have a partner becomes irrelevant, we all cannot argue that no one can heroically handle loneliness, despite how much one love oneself and how one tries to have sex with oneself, however that supposes to happen, anyway. 

The relationship between men and women rocks at times. It's like going to the toilet in the morning. Sometimes you get some very easy flow. Sometimes things get rocky. Sometimes it takes times. Sometimes nothing comes out at all. Sometimes you get explosive diarrhea. Sometimes, even worst, the explosive diarrhea happens even before you have the chance to open your pants or get to the toilet. To top everything else, you don't have time to go to the toilet when you need to the most. 

Therefore, regular makeups and controls are necessary in order to keep the balance and order in the relationship. This includes give and take, tolerance, discipline, principles and integrity, among all worth mentioning. Should the balance is disturbed, the couple may find themselves in trouble; they might be looking at a huge rock rolling down a steep hill in front of them and soon both get killed because one person pulls the other to one side and vice versa, and none gives in. 

Hence to women, and some gays maybe, the needs to please your men are vitally, critically important. And same goes to men as well; pleasing your women (or your gay partners, whichever applies) is dead important too. 

Pleasing men is not as easy, for men come in different varieties. 

But generally men like to be the top of everything. Nothing feels better than to be admired. Even though a man cannot be at the top of the world, at least being at the top of one's world is sufficient to boost his ego. You can never imagine how a very small compliment in the morning changes a man's whole day, especially if this compliment comes from a loved one. He might be a bowl of rotten shits at work, but a compliment on how he goes to work everyday from his wife gives him the drive to, despite how much he despise his workplace, how he hates his job, just because there is someone who believes in him he does nevertheless, and eventually make better things, miraculously.

Dearest women,

Show to the world just how he means to you. Write things up about him for people to see. Fill your Twitter, Facebook, your Tumbler, your blog and many more alternative to digital writing solutions with your thoughts about him. Show to the world that you belong to him, and he belongs to you. Because once a man does not feel belonged, he leaves, and most of the time, he does not come back. As long as you stay a home to him, no matter how much both of you argue and fight over things that it makes him leave, over time he will come back to you, just because home is where his heart is

Be a home to him. Be his shelter. 

Because despite all the masculinity, we men are afraid. We have frustrations. We have disappointments. We have regrets. We are uncertain. We are all insecure. No man is secure, no matter how secure he looks on the outside. This explains why rich men keep working for more money. We all cry. We all get lonely. Sometimes the loneliness is so painful that punching a wall might just help. We have all these. And not that the burden on our shoulders are not heavy enough for us to drag with us along the way, when you start to become just another rock in the bundle on our backs. 

You don't see all these because most men wear masks of EGO.

If he doubts you, make him sure. Because that is all he wants. To be sure of you. That you are for real. You are not just a dancing doll. You are not just a visitor. You are not just an injured bird that soon flies away when you heal. You're not just another bloodsucker. He will constantly feel insecure just because losing you might mean to him as losing everything. This especially happens in unmarried couple, because the easiness of things to slip away is at a great probability.  What if one day you leave? What if one day you stop loving him? He worries about that. Ergo, he needs constant reassuring. It'll be tiring, but it's gonna worth it if you love the man so much. 

It's like your new Blackberry; you check for it every second or so in your pocket to make sure it's there, to a point that if the phone can talk, it'd be cursing at you for being so insecure. "Get a grip!" it'd say. 

So show it to him. Show it to everyone else. Make him feels that he belongs to you. Romeo and Juliet wouldn't be so beautiful of a love story if no one knows about it. Perhaps it'd be an easy one. Perhaps none of them died for love, but from obesity and heart attack from becoming so fat and out of love. There's nothing beautiful there. There is no sense of belonging. Once the sense of belonging disappears, love disappears. And that's it, that's the end of love. 

So don't be there.

As I said, you cannot imagine how a small compliment brightens a man's day ten times if it comes from a loved one. The amount of tricks to success he will pull from that will be unbelievable. This is why they said behind a successful man stands a successful woman. So make him worry less and sure more, and I am sure that things will work themselves out over times. Try that for a while and get back to me if it doesn't work. Then we'll work on something else.  You can propose your questions to me at the comment section or my Facebook Fan Page





Unless, of course, you don't love him that much.


* * *

Take on me, take me on,
I'll be gone, in a day or two. 
'Take On Me' by A-Ha, taken from the album Hunting High and Low, 1985, Warner Bros. Records Norway.

2 comments:

Zuraida said...

This post reminds me of Barbara Straisands "Tell Him".

:)

Hanis Haziqah said...

Tapi, ada sesetengah lelaki yang tak suka PDA through fb, blog, and twitter. Ada yang pegang, when you're in love, you don't have to show it to the world. Though the woman really wanted to show her affection towards that guy, she just can't cuz she's afraid that she'll annoyed that guy.