Thursday, May 10, 2012

Episode 12: When Heart Speaks

[Auto-published, as set on 8th of May 2012]

"Was it even necessary?"

The restaurant was quite full with customers that hot evening. The smell of frying roti canai on the neraby hot pan filled the warm air generously. The Indian waiters went back and forth, taking orders from customers and delivering their orders to them. The overhead ceiling fan above my head rotated as if it was about to pull the concrete block out from its hanging place. On my table was a pack of 20 Mild Seven Light cigarette, my old Zippo lighter, a tall glass of iced coffee and a tall glass of fresh orange. And sitting in front of me was her.

"Eddy. I'm asking you."

I took a chance to stare at her face and into her round, hazel eyes, in the effort to find the truth behind them. They look tired, somewhat. Was it because she didn't sleep properly? Well what caused her to lose sleep, I wondered. Her crooked eyebrows showed that she needed the answer to her question previously as quickly as possible - something that I planned not to do the way she wanted me to. Let the question hang for a while now, I supposed, for one reason I didn't know how exactly do I to answer it, and another because I was, for some certain reasons, afraid of how exactly she will turn out to be when she hears my answer.

Waste the time, Jack. 

I pulled my glass closer and sipped some of the drink through the slim, black straw. Way too thick, the coffee was; almost undrinkable I shall say. It was too sweet while in the same time too bitter - precisely matched the expression on Min's face at the time: bitter from her little anger, and sweet from, forgive me God for saying this, her little anger too. It fancied me just how she could look so scary and sweet at the same time. She kept on staring at me while I tried my best to stay as calm as possible even when my feet were at the time already tapping against the floor from being way too nervous. From the corner of my eyes I could see Tiara and Bob looking at us from another table across the restaurant. They too were way too anxious. I could hear Min tapping her fingers on the plastic table.


Strike one.

"Eddy I'm talking to you."

Strike two.


In horror, I looked at her face turning from all sweetness into some kind of fierce cat when she grabbed my left arm and pressed her nails into my flesh. I could feel the bites on my arm right away. I pulled my arm instantly and rubbed it gently to shoo away the pain.

"Ouch!" I shrieked. "Calm down already, will you?"

"That's what you get for ignoring me."

"I didn't ignore you."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Correct," I said. "But I didn't ignore you."

She folded her hands and leaned back on her seat. Her face was still as fiery. I shouldn't have said that smart-ass last line.

"Were you following me?" she asked.

I let out a nervous laugh. "Of course not. Why would I?"

Her eyes shut a little and they gave me that one hell of a scary stare. I felt as if a thousand swords just stabbed me right on my face.

"Alright, alright," I said while letting out a long sigh. "It wasn't my idea." 

"I see. Whose was it?" she asked.

I turned my head to where my two best friends were sitting, and so did Min. Tiara gave a nervous smile and waved at Min, to which Min replied with a sleek smile, while Bob pretended as if he was listening to the Tamil song on the speaker even when his nervousness showed up pretty obviously - he was stirring an empty glass with a teaspoon. Min pulled her view back to me.

"And why did you guys follow me for?"

"Because I missed you?"

"Sweet," she smiled a bit before turning back to her sour face. "Don't lie to me Eddy."

"Why would I..."


"Okay. We wanted to know who your Sayang is." Damn it, if she was with the Police Department, the cops won't have any problem at all getting criminals to confess everything. 

Her face changed slightly. Suddenly the world went white and static. A long, ringing sound appeared in my ears. There, I said it. I wanted to know who your Sayang is. I was being jealous. I was way too curious. I was too bloody insecure. Why, you have a problem with that?

And my world went completely static.

Maybe in your mind you thought that I was being way too childish, or perhaps way too nosy, no? Perhaps all I should do was just to zip it when we happened the other day? Or maybe, just maybe, that by saying hi to you for the first time was the biggest mistake I ever did? Perhaps by having this little, no, all too enormous feelings for you deep inside me was the vital move that in the end hurt none other than me myself?

If only you knew just how hurtful it is, knowing that you have someone else to love, when I already did love you, Min. If only you knew how my nights and days went ultimately incomplete, just how my thoughts revolved around you at all time, never mind if I was awake, let alone when I was asleep. Imagine, just how my life went entirely upside down since the day we last said goodbye to each other. But then again, I had no one else to blame, my dear Min, other than my own self, for taking you as someone so much special, someone so much dear to my own heart, without knowing that you, please tell me that it's not true, that you already have for yourself your own Sayang.

"And why do you need to know who my Sayang is, Eddy?"

And at that point, it was my turn for my face to change completely.

...To Be Continued

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