Thursday, November 29, 2012

One Year

29th November 2012.

It has been a year today.

* * *

Love is a many splendored things. 

But more often than not, when things go wrong, love ceases to exist. Love disappears, love is replaced. 

A year ago today, I was fundamentally prepared to pursue another wonderful phase of life where I was to deliberately share my otherwise lonely life with another being. A female being. Wouldn't it be wonderful? I could never imagine life to be anymore than it already was then. A marriage, can you believe it?

But things did not happen as planned, and in fact nothing ever did in the case.

I saw before my own eyes the empire I worked so hard to build crumbled and fell, and there was nothing I could ever do to save it. I was made to accept the fate without my own will. Mixed feelings. There I was on bended knees, stunned and shocked. Frustrations amounted. Bitterness evolved. My love, my life, my all, came kingdom come, came the fall. For the first time in my life I happened to be so very helpless. 

But perhaps the reasons were at all time underlying beneath the surface of truth. 

With nothing to even begin with, I started all over again. Building back the pillar of hopes brick by brick. Memories diversified, memories replaced. And now I have for myself another empire, perhaps a stronger and a more meaningful one. Over time, things got better, visions clearer. Dark days resided. Come new love. Come a better love. And I am ever so content.

This one year is the most exciting period of my life. I pledge to no longer look back on my life and instead focus to what awaits. Life is so short to spend on prolonged disappointments. And I paid a very high cost for all these. No regrets, so far, never will be, for sure. 

Saying goodbyes to yesterday was ever so difficult. But I did, anyway. 

* * *

It has been a year. Thank you God, I'm getting better. 

p/s: thank you, Lia.

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