29th November 2012.
It has been a year today.
* * *
Love is a many splendored things.
But more often than not, when things go wrong, love ceases to exist. Love disappears, love is replaced.
A year ago today, I was fundamentally prepared to pursue another wonderful phase of life where I was to deliberately share my otherwise lonely life with another being. A female being. Wouldn't it be wonderful? I could never imagine life to be anymore than it already was then. A marriage, can you believe it?
But things did not happen as planned, and in fact nothing ever did in the case.
I saw before my own eyes the empire I worked so hard to build crumbled and fell, and there was nothing I could ever do to save it. I was made to accept the fate without my own will. Mixed feelings. There I was on bended knees, stunned and shocked. Frustrations amounted. Bitterness evolved. My love, my life, my all, came kingdom come, came the fall. For the first time in my life I happened to be so very helpless.
But perhaps the reasons were at all time underlying beneath the surface of truth.
With nothing to even begin with, I started all over again. Building back the pillar of hopes brick by brick. Memories diversified, memories replaced. And now I have for myself another empire, perhaps a stronger and a more meaningful one. Over time, things got better, visions clearer. Dark days resided. Come new love. Come a better love. And I am ever so content.
This one year is the most exciting period of my life. I pledge to no longer look back on my life and instead focus to what awaits. Life is so short to spend on prolonged disappointments. And I paid a very high cost for all these. No regrets, so far, never will be, for sure.
Saying goodbyes to yesterday was ever so difficult. But I did, anyway.
* * *
It has been a year. Thank you God, I'm getting better.
p/s: thank you, Lia.